Director's Cut

Changes

2011-01-17T17:28:00.000-08:00

I have started a new blog. It's awesome! Go check it out.

http://happymama22.blogspot.com/2011/01/howdy.html

New Year

2011-01-03T19:00:00.000-08:00

Hello 2011!

Boy, 2010 was quite the year. Lots of things happend:

* I had a newborn and a one year old all in the same year (exhausting)

* I graduated from college

* Began making student loan payments

* Got a new car

* Got several jobs

* Experienced teething

And probably many more things that I cannot remember at this moment.

Here are some great things that will be happening in 2011:

* Brother is coming home from Sveden! (or Sweden, depending where you live)

* Losing many, many pounds (at least 60 to be exact)

* Avery will be 2!

* Having more money than I know what to do with

Okay, okay, that last one is probably not going to happen. But a girl can dream, can't she??

About the losing weight thing- I got a gym membership and it's only valid for one year. That means I only have one year to lose the weight. And you're thinking "only one year? One year is a long time..." And I'm saying to you, "yes, yes it is. But consider this: Most people pay for month-to-month gym memberships. They're not really sure when their last month at the gym will be, so it's like...yeah, I'll lose weight, but I have all the time in the world. BUT! If you only have a one year gym membership YOU ONLY HAVE ONE YEAR. You had better get your butt in gear and make this year count!

I guess after one year you could renew your gym membership for another year...or cancel your membership and just jog around the block... BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

One year. Let's do this. 60lbs going bye-bye. And just so you know, Avery LOVES the kids club. Which makes it all the better.

Moving on.

Avery has six teeth! Finally those two little stubborn bottom teeth poked through her gums and we are no longer experiencing the agony of teeth. That is, until the next ones come in.

I have jobs out the wahzoo. Jobs are oozing out of my ears and onto my dinner plate....ew. sorry.

I have more jobs than I know what to do with and my schedule is crazy busy. I even quit one job and I still am more busy than when I had the job! Most of the time I'm doing a babysitting gig but I also have one teaching gig, although I'm interviewing for another teaching job this week and I think I have a pretty good chance at getting it. Add going to the gym several times a week and I basically have no time left. The reason I keep adding on the jobs is because I need money. Duh. Student loans, baby needs, cell phone bills, etc., etc. are always knocking on my door. My mother thinks I'm unreliable because I'm always changing my plans with her due to taking on another job at the last minute. Sorry, mom.

So, I'm ready for this year. It is going to be good. And ya know, I'm not going to just stand back and hope that it will be good. I'm going to make it good.

KAPOW!

Ya know, it's funny....

2010-12-19T08:38:00.000-08:00

The holidays are upon us and I'm so excited!

It's funny how when you have a child, the holidays become fun and exciting and new again. It's like experiencing your childhood all over again (which may or may not be a good thing for some people). At this point Avery is just too young to know of all the festivities going on around her, but, boy, it sure is fun to pretend that she is appreciating the good smells coming from the kitchen, the dozens of toys under the christmas tree for her, and all of the houses decorated with lights. I love watching her experience new things and seeing her reactions. Watching her learn has got to be the most rewarding, satisfying, and exciting thing ever. She's a smart cookie.

In other news, I quit one of my teaching jobs. On one hand, I feel bad because I was only there for one semester and I would have liked to show more of a commitment to the staff and students. But on the other hand, I really couldn't handle it. When I was hired, I wasn't given any warning about what I might encounter or how I should handle certain students and situations. And I'm talking about situations that wouldn't happen in your typical elementary classroom. I wasn't told that a lot (read: most) of the students had social issues, medical issues, or serious problems at home. In a city's school district, you can go to the office and read a child's file which would tell you about any past and current issues. Not that some issues define a child, but it's good to know what you're dealing with. It's good to know if you should be more sensitive in regards to a particular students needs, etc. At the school I was just teaching at, there were no files, there was no heads up, there was nothing. I was just surprised when students did or said things that I had no idea could or would ever happen. I was just supposed to deal with whatever came my way. There was little to no support from the head of the school or from the other teachers. It was like, every man for himself. As a first- year teacher, I need all of the support and help I can get. I'm sort of proud of myself for making that declaration because a lot of the time I just try to do everything myself. But this is my CAREER we're talking about here. I want to do it right, the right way, and if asking for help is how I can get it right, then by golly, I will ask. But there was no one to ask at the this school, there was no one that would sit down with you and work out any issues. Does that sound baby-ish to you? To me, it sort of sounds like I'm asking someone to hold my hand and walking with me step by step. But, hey, you try to be a teacher, and then we'll talk.

"Only the brave should teach."

I never thought that teeth would cause so much anxiety in my life. Yes, I said teeth. My daughters teeth. It just never occurs to someone that those little pearly whites can just shatter your days and your very existence. Why won't those teeth just cut already?! I'm so tired of her not eating and seriously, I can't handle much more of this going to bed at 10pm and waking up at 5am business. It's just so exhausting. And, it's funny, because before I was a mother, going to bed later than 10 and waking up at 5am was no problem. Hell, I did it in college all the time! Stay up late to write papers, and then wake up early for an 8am class. Five days a week I did that. And I was good to go! But caring for another human being is just so exhausting. I don't know how the mothers of multiples do it. I could not do it. I mean, I guess I would do it if I had to, ya know, because they're my children. But right now, I can barely get past 8pm without wanting to burry my face in my pillow and cry. Wahh wahhh wahhhhh.

Really, it's not that bad. But it is very tiring.

Happy Holidays everyone! I have been listening to my Charlie Brown Christmas music (and also I've had my Lady Gaga cd on repeat....because I'm just so stinkin funky.)

No no no november

2010-12-02T06:48:00.001-08:00

I like that I didn't post anything in November. It's almost as if that month never even happend...

Today when Avery and I were at the WIC clinic (for her one-year certification) we were waiting....and waiting... and waiting. And while all of this waiting was occurring Avery was everywhere. Like, she was all "see you later, motherrrr!" She was walking all over the place and was totally not concerned about where I was or what I was doing. I guess she figures that I'm keeping track of her. All of the other kids were sitting quietly next to their mothers. But not my kid. Oh no. I was running all over trying to keep her out of some lady's purse or catching her before she zoomed outside while someone was holding the door open. I had to lunge for her before she took some kids cheerios. Sheesh. Why can't she just sit quietly next to me like all of the other freakin kids?! Well, I will tell you why. When I was talking to another mother that was sitting close to me, she said:

"How old is your daughter?"

"She's almost one. She'll be one in a few weeks," I said.

"Oh, wow, I can't believe she's walking," she exclaimed.

"Yeah, she's a big girl," I said.

"My son is 18 months and still not walking. I have to carry him everywhere," she said.

"Really?!"

Come to find out, several of the children at the clinic were well past their first birthdays and still not walking (that's why they were sitting quietly). I mean, I guess that's normal for some kids to walk later, but seriously, I would rather chase Avery around than her not be able to walk yet. And, really, I would die if I had to carry Avery around everywhere. She weighs almost 100 lbs.

Upon seeing Avery shake her head "no" in line at the grocery store, a woman behind me jokingly asked if Avery was almost 2 years old. Chuckle all you want, lady, but it's me who has to live with the little girl who is all the time telling me no. She can almost say it, too. She has the "nuh" sound down, just not the "oh."

But, boy, is she cute. If she was half as cute as she is now, she'd still be too cute for the world to handle.

Mid-Semester

2010-10-25T21:19:00.000-07:00

50 yard line! I'm almost done with the semester! Half down, half to go.

Thank goodness.

Y'all, if it is possible, Avery is getting cuter every single day. Her personality is emerging and boy, what a poop! But also a cutie patootie. I need to start carrying a large stick with me, because everywhere we go, I have to politely excuse myself and my child, because we really gotta get going, it's almost dinner time, sorry we can't stay and chat about how cute my child is. Yes, she waves goodbye, yes she plays patty cake, yes, she will even give kisses. Now, please, the milk in my basket is getting warm. I need a stick to beat people away. For goodness sake. The saying should go: "With great cuteness comes great responsibility." Because I swear, Avery is the source of many people's happiness. Complete strangers, I mean. Of course she is the source of my happiness. I have to meet my quota and take her out several times a week so that the old ladies who frequent Randall's can play with Avery in the frozen dinner aisle and find the strength to live another day.

Okay, I might be over dramatizing this a tad. But I'm a theatre teacher. It's what I do. (Notice I said theatre teacher. Not theatre major. I'm growing up.)

Anywho, she now shakes her head "no." All the time. Whenever I ask her anything. And even when I don't ask her anything at all.

"Avery, do you want to eat your green beans?" *shakes head*

"Avery, do you want to go to bed?" *shakes head*

"Avery, do you want a bottle?" *shakes head*

"Avery, do you want a chocolate donut with rainbow sprinkles?" *shakes head*

"How did you sleep, Avery?" *shakes head*

"It's a very nice day outside, Avery" *shakes head*

"You're a poop, Avery." *shakes head*

All the time, it's *shakes head*

Crazies

2010-09-26T06:34:00.000-07:00

I realize it's been awhile since I last posted. So this post will be a nice long one and will hopefully satisfied everyone's insatiable appetite for all things Addison-Warner.

I have started teaching school. My first day was two weeks ago and now that I've had time to digest what is actually happening, I feel that I can share it with you.

"Only the brave should teach."

I'm not sure who said that, I'm feeling a little too lazy to go look it up, but someone said it. And I'd have to say that I concur. Teaching really is a difficult profession and I quite frankly don't know that I'm cut out for it. Oh, I'm not giving it up, that's for sure, but there are some aspects about teaching that I don't know that I'll ever be able to get over. (TANGENT- as I am typing this, Avery is getting into the bathroom cabinets. Luckily that's not where I keep the rat poison. TIME FOR CABINET LOCKS!)

One thing, for instance, is that kids have these really active and wild imaginations. Which I love. But also, it can be a real damper on the class when I have all 20 kids arguing over which of their own ideas should be incorporated into the play we're writing. How do I go about weeding through that mess? I want our work to be original and written by them, but honestly, I can't use everyone's ideas.

Another thing is that people have this perception about theatre education that is puzzling to me. Actually, I don't think it's puzzling because it does make a little sense but I just hate it. Parents of the kids in my class somehow think that all we do in theatre class is plays. I get emails from parents that ask if their little johnny can sit out during my lessons because he's not comfortable doing plays. I want to respond that we're not doing a play at this moment- but we are learning how to control our voices and our bodies so that when the time does come to do a play, we're all prepared. It's like, being in a music class and all you do during class is get together and play a symphony, or everyday in P.E. you compete in a triathlon. I don't think that some people realize that theatre is more than just acting in plays. There is a lot of technique and skill to be acquired, not to mention many other roles to take on besides acting, before you can just waltz up to any ol stage and perform shakespeare.

The last thing I'd like to complain about is that fact that some kids cannot be helped. Well, okay, that's not exactly what I mean. What I do mean is that I, Karie Warner, can not be the one to teach your kid all the life skills that s/he needs to be successful in life. I will certainly try. But it is impossible for me to do it all. Now don't worry, no one has said that they expect me to, I'm merely saying/typing this to assure myself. Because I really want to teach these kids how to get a grip. But I'm not superwoman. And there will hopefully be many other teachers in these kids lives that can further their progress into normal humanization.

Now then, on to what all you people really want to hear about: my sweet little Buttercup. Let me just say that if any of you happend to read my middle-of-the-night facebook status updates, I was seriously lacking in the sleep department. And I currently still am. You see, Avery has been all out of sorts for the last two weeks. I suspect it has something to do with the fact that school has started and life as she knows it is crazy and hectic. Which, it is for me also, but she's little and doesn't know any better. Her anxiety is coming out in her sleepy time, or should i say her severe lack of sleep time. She went from sleeping all the way through the night plus taking two or three really good hour/two hour naps to waking up at 4am and taking two quick 30 minutes naps everyday. And then this past Friday night was really the kicker. I was so tired that I was walking around our apartment asking myself if this was really happening. Can a person actually function properly like this? The answer, my friends, is no.

Here is what happend:

It was 8pm on a typical Friday night. Avery had not had a nap in five or so hours so it was definitely bed time. I was rocking her to sleep, like I normally do, and wilson announces that he's going to go down to the 24-hour coffee house that's near our apartment and take these tests in order to get certified in something for work. Alright, alright I say. I was planning on watching a little t.v. and then hitting the hay as soon as Avery went down, so the fact that he would probably be gone all night didn't phase me. He had to take three tests that were each two hours long. Shyeah. So Avery falls asleep and I put her in bed. Woo-eee! It's mama time. I pull out the little chocolate caramel brownies (that are only 60 calories a piece, you have to only eat one or two, that's the tricky part...I'm trying to lose weight) from the fridge, turn the t.v. to TBS, Forrest Gump is on, and I settle down for a nice quiet evening. Well, 9:30 rolls around and I'm just about ready to go to bed, when Avery wakes up. So I go get her, rock her back to sleep, put her back in bed, and then go in my room to clean up a little. So I'm sorting all my school supplies and pretty soon, princess has woken up again. So, I go get her again, rock her back to sleep and finally decide that I better get to bed. I wash my face, put my jammies on, get under the covers. I'm exhausted. I was up at 5am with Avery that morning (and every morning for the past week) and hadn't had a nap all day. I look at the clock...10:15. Shoot, I'm beat. The next thing I know, it's 11pm and Avery is screaming in her crib. Buhhhh. I get up and get her out of her crib and we go sit in the living room until she's reaaaaallly sleepy and ready to go back to bed. Midnight passes. 1am. 2am. 3am. 4am. Oh my word. Is this child ever going to bed!? She's been crying for two hours, and quite frankly, so have I. We're both exhausted and cranky, except the difference is that she doesn't want to go to bed and I do. Wilson is still not home. Avery is still screaming. And I've just about had it. Similac recalled their formula due to a beetle infestation and Avery won't drink anything else, so it's not like I can give her a bottle to make her settle down and go to bed. So, I decide that enough is enough, put her in her crib and go lay down. She's still screaming, of course, but if she cries longer that 15 minutes, I'll go get her. I go get in bed and stare at the clock. 4:15. screaming. 4:18. screaming. 4:20, a little less screaming. 4:27. she's out. So am I.

Wilson gets home a little after 5 and he reports that Avery is sitting up in her bed. At least she's not screaming. I tell him about our hellish night and he says that he'll stay up with her for awhile so I can sleep. I sleep till 8:30 and then get up so wilson can get some rest.

She took one nap on Saturday.

I'm dying.

And I'm sure that you are too, after reading this whole post.

Today is Sunday and we are all exhausted. I'm dreading tomorrow because I know it's going to be a long week.

I hope all of you out there get some sleep tonight.

Blah blah blah

2010-08-21T20:53:00.000-07:00

Well we're all moved. Like officially. All the boxes are unpacked, the post office has received my request for a Change Of Address and we're pretty much all settled in. Avery recognizes that our new home is home. Except let me just say that we live on the second floor. Hell. Avery weighs an incredible 21 pounds plus the added weight of groceries or diaper bag or whatever else I'm carrying up the stairs along with her. I think that is the most inconvenient part about our new place. At least I will have killer biceps in a few months though. Also, another inconvenient part is that we dont have a washer/dryer. Gotta start collecting quarters and rock out the laundry room.

Avery has become my little lap dog and I am teaching her tricks. She's pretty good at catching on and performing. I have taught her the "How big is Avery--So big!" trick. Also, when I say "oh Avery, what a bad cough you have!" she will start fake coughing. She gives open-mouthed kisses and hugs. She's so funny. Hilarious.

This summer has been pretty eventful. We've been all over Texas. We had a lot of fun but we're glad to be home.

I now have a job at Springs Enrichment Academy teaching theatre on Tuesdays. School starts Sept. 14 and I'm pretty excited. I am also babysitting on Mon/Weds every week to help pay ze bills. The gigantic mountain of student loan bills that have to be paid soon. Buhhhhhhh. I'm not sure what I was thinking before I started college but had I realized that I would accrue (sp?) so much debt, I might have re-thought that whole college thing. *sigh*

hot dog hot dog hot diggity dog

Moving

2010-07-23T12:34:00.000-07:00

We are moving.

Grooooaaan.

I hate moving.

Here are some moving tips:

1.) While packing, it is very easy to become distracted. Nevermind all the goodies that are found while going through closets, looking under the bed, and pulling everything out of drawers/cabinets. I'm talking about the million other things that can distract while trying to pack: Updating facebook status, cell phone ringing, check facebook, the sudden hunger pangs in your belly, check facebook, that one thing that you just now remembered to do that you had completely forgot about last week but it is suddenly VERY important. Check facebook. Anything and everything is suddenly way more important than packing. But the moving day looms closer.

2.) Don't make a deal with your boyfriend, agreeing that you will do all of the packing if he will then put all of the boxes in the moving truck. It sounds for an instant like a good idea. But then you have to go pack everything.

3.) Let the baby stay at Grandma's house.

4.) Throw away more than you pack. Trust me, you don't need the fifty bottles of half full nail polish in various shades of red and pink. Keep one red and one pink. Throw the rest away.

5.) Be smarter than yourself. What do I mean by that, you ask?? Whenever I come across an item that I feel as if I can't possibly live without, I ask myself "Could I buy a newer, better item, very similar to this one?" If the answer is yes, I throw it away with promises to myself that I will get a newer/better one later, after I have moved. Problem solved! *SHHH! Don't tell Karie this, but I really actually probably won't ever buy another one of whatever item Karie threw away. She will probably most likely forget all about it.* TACTICS.

Those are my best tips.

Enjoy!

About poop.

2010-07-07T23:08:00.000-07:00

Avery has two teefs coming in. OMG they are so cute. I can see the little pearly white buds popping up. This explains what all her POOPyness has been all about lately. I mean, talk about drama queen! Hissy fits, left and right. Yesterday she refused to eat her lunch. Not like, "oh no thank you, I don't believe I will be eating that squash today. Maybe another day." No. It was like:

"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GIVING ME SQUASH??!! HAVE I EVER SAID THAT I LIKE TO EAT SQUASH? NO! *SPITS OUT SQUASH*"

Yes, she spits out her food if she is not 100% satisfied. POOP. I believe it was Jennie who taught her how to do raspberries. Well, thanks. Now she does them all during lunchtime.

Boy, does she know how to butter me up. I can tell when it's naptime. Other than the fact that naptime occurs roughly every 2.5 hours, Avery really gets bent out of shape and nothing is right in her world about 15 minutes before naptime. No toy will entertain, no bottle will soothe, no cuddling with mom will please. The only activity that will cure POOPyness is b-e-d. So I pick her up and plop her down in her bed with her binky and blanky. (She only gets these two things at bedtime.) And, as soon as I lay her down, she turns on the charm. She smiles and laughs as if to say "oh no mom, I'm not tired. Look, look at my smile, lets play! please take me out of bed now." And sometimes I fall for it. And I take her out of bed to read one more book or play for 5 more minutes. But the second I do, she's back to being a POOP. I should really learn my lesson.

I don't ever remember being this poopy as a child.

Feeling Odd

2010-06-27T07:43:00.000-07:00

The job hunt has not been going so well. I have applied to many school districts and have not heard back from anyone. Bummer. On one hand, I sort of like not knowing where I'm going. It's like a mystery...a surprise. I love moving to new places and figuring my way around a new place. I've moved to 3 different apartments during my time in Austin and each time I move, there is something exciting about the change of pace and the new atmosphere. I am almost positive that Avery and I won't be living in Austin this next year and I'm kind of glad. Austin is a good college town. But I'm tired of being here. Not really because I don't like the city- it's wonderful- but I'm ready for something new.

On the other hand, I would like to have a job lined up. I've been thinking a lot about substitute teaching and it doesn't sound appealing. I mean yeah, it's related experience that would look good on my resume, but ick. I want my own classroom and my own students. I feel like a complete bum not having a job. But, oh, I love being at home with Avery. She had an absolute FIT yesterday when I went to go babysit and left her with Wilson. I was secretly so happy. She just wanted her mama. I love feeling wanted and needed (as I'm positive everyone does). Especially by someone so little and cute. It gives your life meaning and purpose. TANGENT: It makes me so sad when I see people who put meaningless things before their children. Before their own flesh and blood. I've seen seemingly adept, intelligent, good mothers follow the crowd and choose to put their own needs and whatever will soothe their own insecurities in front of their precious children. Sad story. My girl is numero uno.

I'm in this weird place in my life right now. I'm fresh out of college with a Bachelor's degree and I don't know where to make my next move. It's puzzling. I'm in a funk. And I'm getting restless not knowing what the next year holds for me.

Only time will tell.

You make bath time so...much...fun??

2010-06-10T08:03:00.000-07:00

Avery loves to eat. I think it is plain to see by the intense chunk rolls that she's sportin. She loves every kind of baby food that I spoon into her mouth- except peas. Don't even try to put peas in her mouth. In fact, she doesn't even want to look at them. GAG. She likes to get the baby food on her hands so that she can lick it off. Weird kid. Needless to say, with the mush being all over her hands, it is also inevitably all over her face, legs, arms, toes, and hair. It gets pretty messy. In the bathtub for you! So I strip her down and throw her in the tub.

This is the part where I've ruined her childhood.

Today, she was having a bath, just like every day and I put a yellow rubber ducky into her bathtub. Cool, she says. She swats at it and gums it and so on. I was just sitting in the tub with her just watching her play. And then, I did an awful thing. I didn't know it was awful before I did it but APPARENTLY I should not have done it. I made a QUACK noise. Ya know, quack quack goes the duck. Well, when I said QUACK I scarred the poop right out of Avery. Not literally but OHMYGOSH she jumped and yelped and screamed. That friggin duck scared her so bad, with it's QUACK. See, she's still too little to realize that it was me who made the quacking noise and not the rubber ducky. She lunged herself into me and practically climbed up my body. Poor baby. She wouldn't stop screaming until I took the duck out of her bathtub. I put it on the ledge of the bathtub and she watched it. To make sure it wasn't going to jump back in her bathtub and make that awful QUACKING sound again. OH THE HORROR. She began playing again in the water with her little cups and various other bath toys. And every once in awhile she would look up and eye that stupid duck to make sure it was staying away. And then she would return to her playing.

Here is the part where I am an awful mother.

I could not resist the urge to put the rubber ducky back into her bathtub. I tried to resist, I really did. But alas, I could not. She was distracted with her other toys and I quietly put the ducky back into her tub. She didn't notice at first, but as soon as she saw it, you could see that look of terror in her eyes as she remembered the QUACK and BWAAAAHHHHH! screams! Get that duck out of here! Poor baby. I put the duck back of the ledge of the bathtub, and do you know what she did, y'all?! She reached her hand out and knocked that stupid ducky right of the ledge of the bathtub. Because what is she, dumb?? She knows that rubber ducky with its scary QUACK might jump back in her bathtub. She's not taking any chances here. This is life or death.

Little does she know that it was her mean old mom that put the ducky back into her bathtub. Some day, I suspect, she will get hip to my jive and I will not get away with teasing her so easily.

Check out this great MSN Video: Little girl gives herself a pep talk

2010-05-20T20:40:00.000-07:00

Also, watch this video. Best video ever. I will stand in front of the mirror and proclaim these things to myself each morning! I can do anything good!

Check out this great MSN Video: Little girl gives herself a pep talk

School's out for the summer..ohhh yeahhh!

2010-05-20T20:13:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm done. Holy hell I am done. Done with school. I'm done being the student, anyways. I will still be in school for many years, except I'll be the teacher. Buh. I realized today when I was at Office Max that I am destined, nay, doomed to be a teacher because of my love of supplies. School supplies, that is. Oh, teacher heaven! Pens and pencils and paper and tape and paper clips. Paper clips! Backpacks and lunch boxes and erasers. I love it all. The smell of new school supplies is not unlike freshly baked chocolate chip cookies or apple pie. Delicious. Rubber bands!

Avery is quite the little chunk. There, I said it. I put her in a 9 month outfit today, just for the heck of it, and low and behold, it fit perfectly. Passer-by's ask me if she's 6,7, 8 months old and I'm like uhhh....no. Five.

Everywhere we go, people stop to ooh and awe over my precious baby. "She's so happy!" they say. "She's got the best smile!" they chuckle. "She has awesome hair!" they chirp. And deep inside, I am radiant. Can it be that I have given birth to the cutest baby anybody has ever seen?? Yes, yes. I win! I win! I bask in my glory. What a great baby.

I graduate tomorrow from college. Bask.

Ramblings

2010-04-27T17:09:00.000-07:00

Someday when I am a grown up woman I will know many things.

I will know:

How to budget my precious pennies.

How to keep my home clean and raise a child(ren) at the same time.

What to cook for dinner.

How to walk into a grocery store and only purchase what was on my list...no extras.

How to make a grocery list.

What to tell my children that will inspire them and make them want to be great people.

What haircut looks best on me.

I have been pondering many things such as these lately.

Avery is getting particular about who puts her to bed. So far, I'm the only one who is privileged enough to do the job. She fusses and fusses if it's anyone but me. I must just have the magic touch. I love that. She is so so sweet. Avery and I went to my friends' birthday dinner last night and Avery just laughed and smiled and sat in my lap or in other people's lap and was just as precious as can be. There was another baby there who is 5 weeks older than Avery and this baby was FUSSY. Avery just stared at this baby and you could see the look of confusion in her eyes, like "what is wrong with that kid??" It donned on me that Avery has never seen another baby before so it must be puzzling to see another little tiny creature like herself. This other baby was reaching out to touch Avery and get her feet and Avery was all "why is she touching me? Doesn't she know that I am not a chucklehead like her? Doesn't she know that I am the queen? Get away, grubby little child."

She is going to be a diva, I think.

Roly Poly

2010-04-10T18:47:00.000-07:00

MY BABY ROLLED OVER BY HERSELF TODAY!

It was very exciting. But now, nothing is safe. Before we know it, Avery will be crawling and getting into all sorts of things. Tomorrow Wilson and I are going to baby-proof our apartment.

Avery has also started going to bed at the same time every night. Around 8:30. Hallelujah! I'm so glad she settled on a bedtime that is relatively early. She used to want to stay up until midnight and boy, that was killing me. So, good times. Good times. Way to go, eight thirty.

4 more weeks of school! Goodness, it is almost over. I remember thinking that I would never get through my student teaching semester. I think I sort of have the mindset that since I gave birth without an epidural I CAN DO ANYTHING. Really people. ANYTHING. That was probably the hardest thing I will ever have done so everything else is a piece of cake.

Here is Avery looking as cute as ever in her Easter dress. So pretty!

Coos, Screams, and Other Things

2010-03-21T21:11:00.000-07:00

My Little Honey has started to have conversations. She is very interested in what you're saying and has a few opinions of her own and will gladly voice them in the form of vowel sounds and also gurgles. Another way she tells you what's on her mind is by screaming. Screams that could wake the dead. I'm sure there are some zombies walking around out there somewhere. Oh yes, my sweet and pleasant baby has a very violent temper and I shudder to think of her teenage years that are ahead of us. We have started to put her to sleep in her crib instead of letting her sleep in our bed. It kills me. I want her to be snuggled up next to me in bed but I have heard the horror stories of kids sleeping with their parents until kindergarten age and the thought of that kills me even more. Especially because Buttercup sleeps with her arms straight out and kicks furiously throughout the night. I have a foot in my gut most of the night. Anyways, so she is not liking the crib so much. I'm trying so hard to engage all of her senses in our bedtime routine so that she will know when it's bedtime. I spray some lavender and vanilla febreeze in her room (which not only kills the awful smell of peepee diaper but lulls to sleep as well), turn on Lullaby Classics and read a book, turn off the light and turn on her nightlight, wrap her in a blankie, and have a bedtime bottle. There you go, you've got smelling, hearing, seeing, feeling, tasting. She usually falls asleep while I'm holding her and I rock her a little bit and kiss her goodnight and place her gently in her bed.

!!HOLD YOUR BREATH BECAUSE SHE MIGHT WAKE UP!!

She squirms a little bit when I put her down and it's like a 50/50 chance that her squirming will disturb her slumber or she'll settle down and snooze. It's been pretty tough, but we've only been at it for less than a week so I'm hoping that as it becomes more familiar to her, she'll know what's up. Cross your fingers.

Spring Break has come and gone and tomorrow is Monday. 7 more weeks of student teaching and then I'm done. Buhhhhh. It cannot go by quickly enough. I'm at middle school now and I'm not loving it as much as I loved elementary school. It's just not as cheery and happy. Middle-schoolers are dark, creepy, emotionally unstable people and are not eager to do anything remotely educational. Not even when you disguise the education in "fun." I want to go back to elementary school where most of the students can't wait to come to your class and do whatever it is that you have planned. Hell, I could ask elementary students to dig holes in dirt and "hooray! what fun! can we do this again tomorrow?!" Not so in middle school. I am excited to direct a play at the middle school, however. I do miss directing. The excitement of directing a play is coming at a very high price. 14-year olds. Shuudddder.

Almost 3 months

2010-03-07T09:08:00.000-08:00

My cutie patootie will be 3 months old on Wednesday. Sheesh, I can't even believe she is getting so big. It seems like only yesterday...

Being a mother is...interesting. I don't feel like I look or sound like a mama. I still feel like a college kid. Which, I am. But it sometimes amazes me that I am someone's mother. Avery looks up at me and says "are yooouu my mother?" She says it with her eyes, of course. That's what she's saying in this picture. I have dreams that we will be best friends, although when I wake up and return to reality, I remember that a lot of times, mothers and daughters fight and fuss and bicker and compete for alpha female. *sigh* I wonder how such a impossibly cute little thing can pick a fight with her mother. Every night around bedtime, she wants me to hold her. And I do. She wants me to cuddle her in my arms. And I do. She wants me to do the walk -n- sway around the house. And I do. She wants me to whisper sweet nothings in her ear. And I do.

I love this girl.

Happy Valentines

2010-02-15T20:12:00.000-08:00

Here is a lovely photo of my sweet baby on Valentines.

I love teaching at an elementary school. I got an insane amount of valentines from my students. Pokemon valentines, My Little Pony valentines, Miley Cyrus valentines, cookies, Kit Kat bar valentines, and a delicious cupcake.

I remember when I was little I loved to give my teachers presents for holidays. I was a suck up.

A blog? What?

2010-02-09T16:25:00.000-08:00

So, it seems that blogging has dropped way low on my list of things that I must get done in a week. Many of you might know that I just had a baby. Enough said.

I also started student teaching! It is a lot of fun but also very challenging. Which is good. I like a challenge. But boy, I'm exhausted. Since January 5th I have been at Parkside Elementary school in Austin, Tx. It is a great little school and I already love it dearly. The students and staff are all so friendly and welcoming. The teacher I'm working with is really great and he understands that I have a newborn at home and completely understands that I might show up to school half dressed one day because of lack of sleep syndrome. Seriously, some nights I get two hours of sleep. It's been quite interesting to see how much I am capable of accomplishing on two hours of sleep. Nevertheless, my teacher says I'm doing extremely well. And I have to admit, I was doing really well. Until yesterday.

Let me pre-cursor this by saying that yesterday was so awful I actually reconsidered being a teacher. For real, y'all. Yesterday my supervisor came to observe me and evaluate my work and progress thus far. This is the first time she has ever seen me teach and I'm surprised she didn't boot me out of school after witnessing the horror and catastrophe that was my 1st grade class. Oh my hell. So it was basically like trying to heard a bunch of ants. It was a very dark, gloomy, cold, rainy day in Austin so that most awful thing happend. No recess. When outdoor recess is cancelled and indoor recess is put in its place, the children turn into wild, ferocious beasts. Indoor recess does not nearly get out all of the energy that elementary school children have and therefor it is nearly impossible to wrangle them and teach them a decent lesson. Luckily, almost all teachers have issues with children who don't get their fix of recess so me being a student teacher wasn't the problem.

So, I read the 1st graders the story of the 3 Little Pigs. And then, in groups, we acted out the story of the 3 Little Pigs. It might sound like no big deal, but oh my goodness. Those 1st graders can turn the tears on and off in 2 seconds flat. So, one student got bumped into. Tears. Another student didn't get to be the wolf. Tears. I wouldn't let another student go get a drink of water because he had already gone twice before in that class. Tears. The list goes on and on. The whole time, my supervisor is clicking-clacking away on her computer, taking notes about everything I am doing. Disaster. Also, one little boy decided it would be a great idea to stand up on chairs and jump off. We also had an episode where two little girls were trying to pull the loose tooth out of another girls' head.

Mass chaos.

So, my supervisor said she will send me notes. I'm sure they will be about 3 pages long.

Hello, my baby Hello, my darlin'

2010-01-02T06:33:00.000-08:00

So it's been three, almost four, weeks since my little Buttercup arrived, so I guess I should tell you all about it before the details become blurry and hazy in my mind. I replay the day over and over in my head several times a day because I loved every moment, contractions and pain and all.

Wilson, my mother and I showed up at the hospital at 7am to get checked in and settled into my l&d room. One of my friends came a little bit later. At 8am my doctor broke my water and I was off! There was no turning back. That baby would be here soon. I came to the hospital already 3.5 centimeters dilated and 60% effaced so I had a considerable head start into labor.

By noon my contractions were getting really intense. I tried rocking back and worth on the "birthing ball" but what felt best was just sitting straight up in bed. My lovely mother rubbed my feet and Wilson held my hand. They were both wonderful coaches and I'm so glad I had them there with me. When my contractions began to hurt really bad I just looked into Wilson's eyes and thought about the little life we made. With each contraction, I took deep breaths and blew away the pain. I tried so hard to stay in control and not let the pain and my emotions get the best of me. I didn't have any pain meds.

So 3pm rolls around and I am soo ready to push. Like, ohmyhell that nurse better let me push this baby out RIGHT now or else... I might do something drastic! I'm 9.5 centimeters dilated and everyone is telling me it's not time to push, it's not time to push but it has got to be time. A little bit later...it was time. Up to this point, time has been flying by. People have been in and out of my room and I have been aware of everything that has been going on. But all of the sudden, everything seems to be slowing down. In comes my doctor and the lights turn off. It's dark except for the one light that is shining above my hooha. It's dark and it's quiet. I know that it must have seemed quiet because I was so tired from hours and hours of contractions and all those contractions made my ears unable to function properly. I know there are at least 8 or 10 people in my room, ready and waiting for a baby, so there must have been some noise. I start to push and it feels so good to push. So good. A few days later my mom and I were talking about how good it felt to push. We decided that no, it doesn't really feel good...like, you don't just wake up one day and say to yourself "ya know, I think today I'd like to push a baby out of me, I bet that'd feel good." It actually hurts like the dickens but after those contractions, boy, pushing feels like easy money.

So there I am, pushpushpush, and my nurse tells me that I'm approaching what they in the biz call the "Ring of Fire." What?! Ex-cuuuse me?! Ring of fire? Great. I think that's when the baby's head is crowning. I don't really remember what the explanation of the ring of fire was because I was too busy experiencing it. Anyways, everyone is crowded around, watching the show, and I couldn't help but think about all the women that have ever appeared on A Baby Story. It's a T.V. show that comes on The Learning Channel that documents women giving birth. I know that maybe I should have been thinking about something more sentimental like, oh, I don't know, my daughter entering the world, but I wasn't. I was comparing myself to those women. My legs are shaved and my toes are painted a lovely shade of pink (thanks to my mother). Shoot.

Well before I knew it, it was 3:55 and I gave one more push and out she came! Wide- eyed and just as pretty as ever. Hardly any cheese. It was strange to see her for the first time, on the outside. In one moment you analyze this little being that is suddenly your entire world and your heart softens and the pain of childbirth melts away and your life is changed. All in one little moment.

The rest of my time in the hospital was pretty normal and boring, except for the time when I was with my little one. I hope I never get so sick that I have to be in the hospital. It is dreadfully boring sitting in bed. Thank goodness for all the people who came to visit and stay with me. I'd have gone bonkers without them.

After 48 hours in the hospital and a night at my apartment, my mother took me home with her so that she could help and take care of me and Avery. I am so glad that she did, too. Thanks mom, for everything that you did. I'm not sure if I could have successfully handled Avery all by myself. I love my mother dearly and appreciate the hours that she took the baby while I slept or took a shower, the meals that she cooked, and all of the mothering advise and wisdom. I also loved hearing how much she loves Avery. I love that she loves my baby (how could she not??). I'm lucky to have a mother who cares deeply for me and my little family.

Now I am back in Austin taking care of my little one and my Wilson and getting ready to start school again. Sheesh. One more semester. I will graduate. I will graduate. I must graduate. As difficult as this semester will be, I will cherish every moment of it because when it is over, I will have graduated college with a 5 month old and proven to myself that I can do anything.

Avery Danielle

2009-12-20T21:36:00.000-08:00

I intend to write a post about the best day of my life: December 16th. Although, I'm a little too tired and a little too taken aback to write it out right now.

stay tuned.

Letters to my Love #4

2009-12-08T21:30:00.000-08:00

Dear baby,

Today has been a very exciting day. Daddy and I went to my doctor's appointment and the doctor thinks you will arrive within the next week! And if you don't come by yourself, the doctor is going to induce me next Wednesday! I am 3 centimeters dilated and a lot effaced, so I guess you're ready to get out of there. Since my doctor's appointment today I have been doing lots of things to get ready for you to be here. I've packed your diaper bag, gotten my hospital bag ready, and printed out some information that the hospital will need. I've also baked some holiday brownies. But that is of more use to me than it is to you. I can't believe that you're days away from being here! Everyone is soo excited and cannot wait. I really liked having you with me all of the time. It was a very pleasant experience, being pregnant. It wasn't horrible like for some women. I mostly was just in awe of what was happening inside my tummy and I imagined what you were doing in there...which was a lot (growing) and not a whole lot (just hangin' out) at the same time. You are already so very precious and wonderful and I just don't know if your daddy and I will be able to comprehend the amount of perfect you are, in your little pink, pudgy, pretty newborn state.

I love you oh, so much.

Love,

Mama

p.s.- your laundry detergent (which was given to me at my baby shower, I won't be buying that expensive stuff) smells incredible. I am loving snuggling up with your onesies. But once you get here, I will like to snuggle with you more.

Letters to my Love #3

2009-12-03T16:06:00.000-08:00

My dear little one,

The day is fast approaching when you make your first appearance. I'm glad you are coming during the holiday season because I love holidays. I don't especially love Thanksgiving Day or Christmas Day or New Years Day....I mostly just like the days leading up to that. The excitement and anticipation and the general nice, warm, and cozy feeling I get. That's the best part. My birthday is next Friday, which I have never really particularly enjoyed, either, but it's nice to know that people care about you and send you happy birthday wishes. Your daddy is taking me to a nice dinner and that will be pretty great but the best present to get this year is you. I couldn't ask for anything better. I hope you will realize and know early on that there are so many people that love you.

Your lease is almost up, my dear! Enjoy the womb while you still can.

Love,

Mama

Letters to my love #2

2009-11-26T19:08:00.001-08:00

Dear Little Buttercup-

Today is Thanksgiving and I am very thankful for you. I am very thankful that you are healthy inside my tummy and that I have been healthy throughout my pregnancy. I am thankful that you and I and your daddy have a lot of family that love us and take care of us. You and I ate quite a bit today. Lots of delicious turkey, potatoes, and pie. I can't believe that you will be here in less than a month. It's so surreal and I can't quite wrap my brain around the fact that you will be here so soon. But I'm so excited! And so is everyone else! We all can't wait to include you in all of our holiday festivities. Next Thanksgiving/Christmas you will be one year old and so much fun to play with. You will be starting to walk and get into things that you shouldn't.

Happy Thanksgiving, little one. Keep growing healthy and strong. I love you so so much.

Love,

Mama

Letters to my love #1

2009-11-18T16:22:00.001-08:00

My lovely little girl,

Only five more weeks until you arrive! Everyone is so excited for you to be here so that we can all love on you and cuddle you. I know that you are the prettiest girl in the world. Your daddy couldn’t agree more. We stay awake for hours at night, trying to fathom how small and precious you will be when you arrive. I am almost finished with school- only about another three weeks. You are on my mind all the time and sometimes it is very difficult to focus on school and my studies. I just can’t wait until it’s just me and you and daddy at home, cuddling in our bed. We are working hard to get everything ready for when you get here. Last weekend was my baby shower in Houston and I got so many things that I know you will love. I also have another baby shower this weekend in Austin. Your grandmothers are amazing women. You won’t even believe how much they love you and how they will do anything for you. But I want you to know, my little one, that no one will ever love you like I love you. From the moment I knew you were in my tummy, I felt nothing but an overwhelming love for you. I will take care of you all the days of my life.

Love,

Mama

Halloween!

2009-10-31T15:53:00.000-07:00

I love Halloween.

Wilson painted a pumpkin on my tummy for Halloween. B makes a very good pumpkin but I'm so excited for next Halloween when she can have an actual costume. I've seen some pretty cute babies dressed up for this Halloween.

There are only 7 1/2 weeks until B gets here. My tummy is getting pretty big, as seen in the picture. And I'm pretty sure I've had a few Braxton-Hicks contractions. According to babycenter.com B is about 4lbs. She is almost the length she will be when she is born, but from now until then, she's going to be packin' on the pounds...about half a pound a week. Sheesh.

The Whole 9 Yards

2009-10-20T08:47:00.000-07:00

This post is brought to you by the number 9.

**The 9 of diamonds-the playing card-is called the Curse of Scotland

**The expression "to the nines" means to the highest degree. Someone dressed to the nines is dressed up as much as they can be.

**9 judges sit on the U.S. Supreme Court

**A human pregnancy normally lasts 9 months

**Important Buddhist rituals involve 9 monks

**There used to be 9 planets in the solar system.

**In astrology, the ninth sign of the Zodiac is Sagittarius, identified by the Greeks as a Centaur. Centaurs are magical creatures known for their skills as archers, philosophers, and predictors of the future.

**In classical music the curse of the ninth refers to the superstition that a composer who writes a ninth symphony will die soon. Beethoven, who left his Tenth symphony unfinished, is regarded by the superstition as the first victim of the curse.

**There are 9 members of the Fellowship of the Ring in the Lord of the Rings saga.

**9 is the number of weeks until Baby gets here! Hopefully...

Baby Class

2009-10-15T21:01:00.000-07:00

Baby class is a lot of fun. Wilson and I go to baby class every Thursday in October from 7pm to 9:30pm. It's very long, yes, but the instructor is a hoot and makes it very enjoyable.

One thing that I have noticed is that I am very lucky to be having such an easy pregnancy. There are six or seven other couples in the class and all of the pregnant women sit there, with their feet propped up on chairs, staring blankly at the instructor, or the videos we watch. I know they are all very excited for their babies, but they just look so...unhappy. Back pains, swollen feet, heartburn, babies kicking them in the ribs, etc. You name it, someone has got it. I feel kind of weird because I'm sitting there, smiling and laughing at all the instructor's jokes and following along in the baby book that we got and getting up and down all by myself when we sit on the floor to learn breathing techniques. All of the other women need help getting up and down. All of these women are just as far along as I am, and one woman's baby is due on December 22nd, just like mine! Basically, I'm so grateful that my little B is just cool as a cucumber and not making me feel awful. I just hope that B is as easy when she comes out of the oven as she is while she's in the oven.

Today in class, the instructor said the phrase "poopy diaper baby" and I CRACKED up. I have no idea why it was so funny, but I can't help but giggle to myself just thinking about it.

Poopy Diaper Baby!

Anyways, in response to my cracking up, the instructor said "this is the funnest Lamaze class you will ever take!" Wilson then turns to me and whispers "this is Lamaze?! I just thought it was baby class! We are in a Lamaze class?? What are we, hippies??"

teehee.

Next Thursday we are taking a tour of Labor and Delivery and also of the nursery. I am SOO excited. I can't wait to see all the little bitty babies and ooh and aww over them. I'm probably more excited about seeing those babies than I am to snack on the M&M's I bought earlier today. I'm also pretty excited about thinking of what my first words to my little B will be. Assuming that I will be able to say anything and not just sit there and sob tears of joy, I hope that B will recognize my voice and be comforted by it.

Oh, B.

Sunny days, sweepin' the clouds away...

2009-10-13T11:35:00.000-07:00

This post is brought to you by the number 10.

**10 is our most important number because it is the base of our counting system.

**Lobsters and crustaceans have 10 legs

**Our counting system is based on 10 because we have 10 fingers

**The first four numbers added together make 10.

**The first 10 amendments to the U.S. Constitution are known as the Bill of Rights

**Thomas Edison set up his first laboratory in his father's basement when he was 10 years old.

**Human hearing reaches its peak at 10 years old

**10 pennies make a dime and 10 dimes make a dollar.

**Does the number ten start with the letter "T" or the number 1?

**10 is the number of weeks left until Baby gets here...hopefully.

The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things...

2009-10-07T20:30:00.000-07:00

Another doctor's appointment came and went. 29 weeks, it is. Next week begins the countdown:

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1

*ding*

Baby!

I was told by my doctor that anyone and everyone who plans on spending time with B must get the whooping cough shot. Whooping cough shot? Yes, a whooping cough shot. Grandparents and great grandparents especially. No one who whoops shall be permitted within close range of the sweet and precious babe. Consider yourself warned.

I had to drink the most awful, disgusting drink in order to take that glucose screening test. I was given the choice of orange or fruit punch flavor. I chose fruit punch. The only way I can describe it is to compare it to drinking the syrup of a melted popsicle. Except magnified in sweetness times 10. And it's not as if you can just slowly sip it and take your time trying to stomach it. The doctor gave instructions that the whole 50 oz. should be finished within a couple of minutes. So there I was, gulping it down, trying not to gag, and of course complaining about how bad it tasted. Wilson apparently didn't believe me and asked to take a sip, because, ya know, how bad could it be? It's just fruit punch juice and he is such a manly man. So I let him have a swig.

He didn't say another word afterwards and let me complain all I wanted.

School has been hellish but I must say that I am doing quite well. I gave the most awesome presentation in class today. My curriculum partner and I presented a draft of our elementary school curriculum which required 36 lesson plan outlines. We did amazing and went above and beyond everyone else. My professor, who is known to be a harsh critique, said that we deserve an applause.

Thank you, thank you very much.

(8 more weeks of school, 8 more weeks of school, 8 more weeks of school)

Apples, Belly buttons, and Egyptian theatre

2009-09-25T14:33:00.000-07:00

This week has been an interesting one.

Just when I thought pregnancy couldn't get any more weird, my belly button popped out. Yes, my very intense innie has turned into an outie. Weeeird. Pre-pregnancy, my belly button was almost an inch deep. It is very interesting to see the bottom of your belly button suddenly poking out.

Wilson and I also became Apple users this week. I got a 13" Macbook Pro and Wilson got an iTouch. It's taking me a little while to get used to using Mac, but it's pretty sweet. I got a Macbook because I *have to* have one to be a teacher. My faculty advisor says that all the best teaching software is only made for Macs, so we were required to buy one. I think she just enjoys watching all of her students have a minor heart attack when we have to drop that much dough on a computer. I seriously had to sit down for a moment after I purchased mine.

It's weird when strangers come up to me and rub my belly. Just sayin'.

I had the weirdest, most awkward thing happen to me in one of my classes. I'm taking a Theatre History before the 18th Century class. It's a freshman class mostly and I'm in it because I loathe theatre history and waited until the last minute to take it. So, we're talking this week about Egyptian theatre. First, let me say that Egyptian theatre is very strange and unlike any other kind of theatre that exists in the world. Anyways, so we were assigned to read this essay about Egyptian theatre. It's mostly about certain rituals that take place, different gods that are continually mentioned in all Egyptian theatre pre-1800's, the type of music and dance that takes place, etc, etc. So my professor (who isn't really a professor, just a grad student) puts the whole class into groups and we're to pick a paragraph from the reading and put together a short skit or tableaux that represents this paragraph.

So I get put into this group that consists of 3 other girls and 1 boy. I have known this boy since high school and he is very odd. He offers up the idea of presenting a tableaux that represents the following paragraph:

"Music was an art form that touched all people. It was a sacred art in the temples, performed by royalty and gods and goddesses. There are papyri showing priestess-musicians; both royal and aristocratic ladies played instruments in the great religious ceremonies. Music was said to delight the gods, cheer men's hearts, soothe women in childbirth, and drive away evil."

Oh boy. If you think you know which person I was supposed to represent in our tableaux from the above paragraph, you are wrong. The boy in my group suggests that HE be the person representing the woman being soothed by music during childbirth. The other people in my group all think this is a great idea because it shows that women weren't really allowed onstage in Egyptian theatre and so men portrayed women, so it would be "interesting" to see the role reversal by him portraying a woman.

So, they put me in the middle to represent music, and everyone else in my group is in a tableaux around me acting out the various other things mentioned in our paragraph. We were only given 5 minutes to set this up so we really had to throw it together.

It's time to present our tableaux's. Our group gets called on to perform. So, I take my place in a chair in the center and everyone else is around me. The boy in my group lays down on the floor, legs spread wide apart in childbirth position and begins to make "pushing out a baby" sounds. Very loud sounds. So loud that you'd think we were all in a room full of women giving birth.

I. am. mortified.

I watched as the 45+ college kids in the room gasped and widened their eyes. Oh, I bet it was a sight to behold. Then came the laughter.

I'd like to think that they were laughing at what a FOOL he was making of himself and not at the irony of it all. Luckily, class ended right after our group performed so I was able to get out of there a.s.a.p.

I came home that day and told Wilson about all of this and he assured me that everyone thinks I am such a cute pregnant woman and that everyone loves me. He did his best to calm my worries and turn my frown upside-down.

But sometimes, days are just hard.

And very, very weird.

Groovy, baby.

2009-09-11T19:52:00.000-07:00

I love Friday nights.

Wilson and I went to Central Market tonight and listened to this really sweet live jazz band. Everyone was sipping coffee which smelled incredibly delicious and it was raining just a little bit so it wasn't hot and made your skin feel nice and soft. But it wasn't humid. Just a nice light, crisp sprinkle. The sights, smells, and noises were some of the best. It was the best Friday night ever.

B is doing just fine. She is growing real big and, consequently, so is my tummy. It's kind of frustrating to walk into my closet and not have anything to wear. But I know it's because I have a little human inside of me. And I love her.

School is just as annoying as ever. My days go by pretty slow and my nights go by too fast. Lame.

What I'm looking forward to the most (besides my little B) is Autumn. This topic has been the subject of many blogs lately but I just love Autumn so much that I can't help but blog about it myself. I love October, November, and December more than any other months. I love the sights and smells and noises. I love those scents that are associated with this time of year. Pumpkin spice, most of all. Oh, how I love pumpkin spice. And I LOVE Halloween. Halloween is probably my favorite holiday. I am going to be a basketball for Halloween. Or maybe a watermelon.

Or maybe the planet Earth.

Back To School Jiggity Jig

2009-08-26T13:18:00.000-07:00

As much as I would have liked the summer to keep on going, alas, the time for school came. It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And I puzzled and puzzled till my puzzler was sore.

Boy, my puzzler was very sore by the end of the school day. On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I have 4 classes back to back from 9am to 3pm. It's pretty rough. Especially when a certain little someone is making me very hungry. I packed snacks to eat during class (which is allowed). I packed a sandwich bag of whole grain goldfish, some baby carrots and ranch dressing, and some Disney Princess Ariel fruit snacks. Wilson thinks that I have the taste buds of a 5 year old. This may be true, but I can't help it. I am what I am and that's all that I am.

It looks like this semester of classes is going to be particularly difficult. My professors have assured me that it's largely about time management and thinking logistically about how and when I will get assignments done and it's not really about how easy or difficult the assignments are. I have all the tools/skills I need to complete my projects and succeed.

Easy for them to say.

B got a lot of attention today. Not that she doesn't get loads of attention from me or Wilson talking or singing to her and patting my little belly. But today everyone was rubbing my tummy and asking about B and how she is growing (very big!), can I feel her kicking (oh, yes!), have I thought of any names (of course!) and so on and so forth. It was exciting to talk about my baby all day! I think I talked about my baby more than I actually talked about school and assignments. I have promised many people that I will bring my ultrasound pictures to school and show everyone how pretty she is.

Now I am at home relaxing after a very eventful day. Peace and quiet. I love my new home because it feels so...home-y. Wilson doesn't get home from school for another couple of hours so I will eat a strawberry jello cup and take a nap. Wilson says that tonight when he gets home we are going to go get a bite to eat and bond. He thinks it's no fair that B and I get to be buddies all day, everyday and bond all the time. He would like to do some bonding, too.

How sweet!

Sugar and Spice

2009-08-11T18:53:00.000-07:00

Oh, the wonderfulness that is today.

I am having a girl.

And she is very beautiful.

After class today, I met my mom, cheli, nana, calysta, and jake at McDonalds for some lunch and then we headed over to the hospital for my appointment. Wilson met us there. It was cramped quarters in the ultrasound room!

The nurse took a whole bunch of measurments and at last spotted the little girl parts.

Oh, she is very sweet.

After the appointment we went to dinner and then shopping and got our fill on little girl clothes.

I got lots of ultrasound pictures of her and will post them as soon as I can get a hold of a scanner.

peace. love. baby girls.

Half...Baked

2009-08-04T20:18:00.000-07:00

Hellooo, 20 weeks!

I am half way done being pregnant. The bun in the oven is mostly still doughy but is growing and rising.

It's rather odd because it feels like time has flown by. I'm scared to blink because I know that when I do, I will be in that labor and delivery room. It's a little frightening.

This week, B is about the length of a banana. A banana! I love bananas! But only when they are mostly still green. I refuse to eat a banana that has too many brown spots.

Countdown- 7 days until my next doctor's appointment. Oh yes. It's the one.

The child development class I am taking this summer is turning out to be one of the most beneficial classes I have ever taken. There are two other pregnant girls in my class and we sit together and share snacks and gaze haughtily down our noses at the other college kids in the class who could not possibly be getting better grades than we are because, hello...we are experiencing this class directly, in our womb's. Child. Development. The only weird thing is that the other two girls are WAY more pregnant than I. They look as if they might pop at any moment, whereas I just look like I ate a little too much for lunch and must unbutton the top button of my jeans to breathe correctly.

Speaking of which, clothes are incredibly uncomfortable these days. I'm not yet big enough to wear my maternity clothes but I am also too big to wear my normal, regular clothes. I am looking forward to being a cautionary whale. Then, at least, I will have something to wear.

Oh, btw, Wilson and I have moved into our new apartment. 2 bedroom, 1 bath. It is wonderful! We no longer have to hunt and scavage and hoard quarters in order to do laundry because we have our very own washer and dryer in our apartment! We also have some pretty snazzy tile and brand new carpet. Right now, B's room is sort of the dumping ground for all of the boxes and miscellaneous things we don't know what to do with or dont have room for. Wilson has promised that by the time there is a baby here, all the junk from that room will be gone.

Let's hope so.

"We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for this Breaking News..."

2009-07-21T18:33:00.000-07:00

Life has been detected on a tiny, far off planet.

This Life seems to be kicking about inside its cramped quarters.

Kick, kick, kick

Although there has been previous confirmation that Life is indeed nestled away safely on this planet, today marks the day when it has made its presence known by its persistent and rather remarkable kicking, felt by an outside observer.

Stay tuned as we continue to further investigate this kicking and soon distinguish the sex of this Life.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

whooshwhooshwhoosh

2009-07-14T17:24:00.000-07:00

I had another doctor's appointment today. Just a checkup. Mom and Jake came up and stayed with me yesterday and today and went to my appointment. B is developing nicely and we heard the heartbeat.

whooshwhooshwhooshwhoosh is what it sounded like to me.

My next appointment is Tuesday, August 11th at 3:30pm. This is the day we've all been waiting for (aside from the actual birth). This is the day when we will find out if B is a girl or a boy. Woot! My mom is coming and Nana is coming and Cheli is coming and also maybe Calysta. And Wilson, of course. If anyone else would like to come, you're more than welcome...I have requested the big 3D IMAX room for the ultrasound. Should be quite a show. With quite an audience.

I have thought of new names! Well, I'm still sticking to Kyle or Sophie for a girl but I've been going back and forth with the boys names. So, added to the list is: Maddox, Dean, and Oliver. I can't seem to pick a name that a lot of people like, however. My mother hates Maddox because apparently Angelina Jolie named her kid that. A couple of other people don't like Dean because with a name like Dean Addison, he is surely going to be winning "Artist of the Year" at the CMT awards. And clearly, Oliver sounds like something you would name a pet. An orange tabby, for example. Sheesh. I know that there's no pleasing everyone and I should just pick a name that I like (and one that Wilson likes, too, I suppose) but it's difficult.

I've started having wilson take a picture of my belly each week. To spare your eyes, I'm not going to post them on my blog, but just know that so far, there isn't a lot of change between the last few weeks. 15 weeks looks like 16 weeks looks like 17 weeks. Meh.

Is a turnip a fruit? No, I know it's not. But throughout my pregnancy, babycenter.com has been likening the height and weight of B to different fruits. Lemons, avacados, figs. But all of the sudden, this week B weighs as much as a turnip. What gives?

This post is not very exciting but I felt bad because I haven't updated in awhile. BUT the next post will be oh-so-exciting.

On my next post, on August 11th, I will post a picture of either a big ol penis or a squeaky pink vagina. Won't that be exciting?!?

teehee.

Lemons

2009-06-25T18:22:00.000-07:00

Boy, it is hot.

Not only was it 105 degrees in Austin today, the air conditioning has been broken in my apartment for two days now. So I've been sitting around in my bathing suit, in front of a fan all day. The fan doesn't really help. It mostly just blows around hot air. Ick.

In other news, my bloodwork came back from the lab and my baby tested negative for Downs Syndrome and Trisomy 18. Hooray for baby! Ouch for me because I have a huge blue and black bruise from where they took 5 viles of blood from my arm to do the tests.

It was an interesting time at the doctor visit last week. I went in for a sonogram because they had to measure the fluid behind the baby's neck, the bridge of the baby's nose and also how long baby is from head to butt. All of this measuring is to find out if the baby is growing properly, etc, etc. Well, in order to take all of these measurements the baby has to be in a certain position. If the baby is not in the ideal position for the measurements, the nurse just jostles my tummy around and the baby will turn over pretty quick. Pretty routine. In-and-out procedure.

Oh, no, no. Not for my baby.

My baby REFUSES to turn over. Instead she just sucks her thumb and looks at us. The nurse keeps jostling my tummy (Wilson and I ate lunch before we got to the doctor so her pushing down on my stomach REALLY made me have to go pee). Baby won't budge. Nurse pushes down some more. Baby waves at us. *sigh*

This goes on for about 30 minutes. The whole time the nurse is TALKING to my baby, trying to coax it into position. And not just talking...she's using this high pitched, I'm-talking-to-a-baby, goo goo gaa gaa, kind of voice. It's driving me nuts.

Finally I tell the nurse that I don't think my baby is going cooperate today and that we'll come back tomorrow and try again.

Sheesh.

When I got home, you better believe that I gave that little lovely, lemon-sized baby of mine a good talking to. She may come from two nonconformist, uncooperative parents, but I'll be darned if she doesn't do what she's told tomorrow at the doctor's.

So I went back the next day and baby did everything perfectly, and without any back-talking or sass.

I hope that this was not a sign of what is to come.

Honeys

2009-06-17T14:37:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of Wilson and I, in case some of you have never seen him. I actually don't think anyone has met him except for my parents and Cheli. But that will change soon, I imagine.

We are going to the doctor tomorrow to get all my blood work done. Fun stuff.

Hello!

2009-06-09T17:53:00.001-07:00

Oh my goodness.

Today my mom came to Austin to go with me to my first doctor's appointment. I thought I was just going to get to hear the heartbeat...but I got to see the baby!

eep!

My doctor, Dr. Gooch (lolz), did an internal ultrasound and the first thing I saw on the screen was this little thing movin' around. And oh my goodness. It was doing flips and somersaults and kicks and jumps all over the place. It wouldn't hardly hold still to get measured!

I think my baby will be a gymnast or a swimmer when it grows up.

I got pictures and they are adorable. I got them to print out three...one for me, one for Wilson, and one for my mom. I don't have a scanner, so my mom is going to scan the picture and put it online so everyone can see. It's so cute! Sheesh. My mom and I went to Target afterwards and got two picture frames. One for Wilson and one for me.

The baby is 5.64 centimeters long and is due on December 22nd.

And I also got lots of goodies at the doctor's office. Books and binky's and formula and tons of other stuff. I also got lots of goodies when I went to register for baby stuff at Babies R Us and Target.

I like baby things. They smell good.

Oh, baby

2009-06-03T11:58:00.000-07:00

For those of you who read my mothers blog, you may have been perplexed by one of her posts a few weeks ago about a certain secret named "buttercup." The secret is not hers, but mine.

But it's not a secret anymore.

I'm going to have a baby!

[I'll give you a moment to take that in.]

Yes, while unplanned and unexpected, I am going to have a little bitty bundle. I am very excited and looking forward to it. Wilson, who I have dated for 3 1/2 years, is the papa and is also very excited (and a little bit scared).

I'm 10 weeks pregnant so the baby will be here at the end of December. How's that for a Christmas present?? I'm going to stay and finish school because I only have two semesters left and I really want my degree.

I'm currently taking suggestions for names. I won't find out for 8 or 9 weeks if it's a girl or boy...but I just have a feeling it's a girl.

Right now, the baby is the size of a kumquat. Last week, she was a grape. I wonder what fruit she will be next week...

Anyways, that's my exciting news! I am really happy and daddy is really happy and we're going to make sure our baby has everything she needs.

She. Everyone, think "girl" thoughts.

OAP's

2009-05-16T10:58:00.000-07:00

This weekend and next week I am helping out at the UIL One Act Play contest. It's the biggest theatre competition in the nation or something. It involves high school's performing one act play's and competing against other high schools. It's a Texas thing. No other states compete.

They hold the state championships in Austin, Tx. And here I am.

Yesterday I was just doing my thing: ushering people to their seats and taking tickets and passing out programs. Minding my own business. And then, all of the sudden, I feel a little tap on my shoulder. I turn around and am shocked and amazed by who is standing there, with a big grin.

My high school theatre teacher.

Let me tell you a little about him..

He was the best teacher ever. He is the reason why I am going to school to be a high school theatre teacher. He inspired me to give it my all and work with what I have. In high school, he balanced being your friend but also the teacher and the authority so well. All of his students knew they could go to him for advice, homework help, boys problems, anything. We had a blast in his class and he gave me a chance to break out from the shy little girl that I had always been.

So, when I turn around and see his standing there, I just can't believe it. I haven't seen him or talked to him since my junior year of high school, when he left us to teach somewhere else. He gave me a huge hug and said he was so glad to see me. I can't hardly sputter out any words. He asks what I'm doing here and I say that I'm just helping out, ushering and whatnot. Right then, the lights dimmer, indicating that a show is about to start. He says it was great to see me and walks back to his seat.

I wanted to tell him that he is the reason I am at UT, studying theatre education, to be a high school theatre teacher and inspire kids like he inspired me. I wanted to see his eyes light up. I wanted to hear him tell me how proud he is of me. Like he used to, back in high school.

But instead I just waved good-bye.

I spent the rest of the night thinking about high school and everything I experienced.

His current students are at the State Championships here in Austin. They perform today in a couple of hours and when I'm watching them perform, I won't help but feel a.) jealous, because when he was MY theatre teacher, we never made it to State Championships b.) hopeful, because I want them to win, so that he will be happy and c.) thrilled, because one day, I know I will be here at State Championships with my group of high school students.

One day.

Denoument

2009-05-04T21:08:00.000-07:00

This week is the final week of classes!

Today I had my last creative drama class, my last directing class, and my last fieldwork teaching assignment (I was placed in a second grade classroom and had to teach 5 lessons).

I really learned a lot about myself this semester, not only as a teaching artist but also a person. So many things became clear to me and I gained a lot of perspective.

What I learned:

1.) 2nd graders are the most thoughtful and precious kids ever. After my final lesson today, the class presented me with thank you cards that they had made. One of them says: " Dear Karie- Your the Best teacher ever I wish you could stay for two mor weeks because if you leave I will miss you so much." Aww, bless their little hearts.

2.) Although I do enjoy teaching, I like directing better. I have become more aware of the fact that I have a good intuition and sense about things and it is more helpful in directing than in teaching. In directing, I can build an awesome set and create fantastic pictures and work the moments in a script but, if asked, I couldn't really tell you why I created those things or my reasoning behind it. I couldn't verbally explain it to you. You may think that this might be a flaw, but I think it's just good intuition. True, I haven't developed all the flowery language that professional directors use but I think directing just comes to me. In teaching, if you don't have that reasoning behind what you're doing, your lessons might not work out.

3.) Everything is going to be just fine. No worries.

4.) People are fascinating, yet so simple. This semester I was continually amazed by some peoples choices, decisions, and resolves. Including my own. I have been left to wonder about peoples motivations and how high the stakes are. And sometimes, people just do what they gotta do.

5.) True friends are hard to come by.

This semester has been spent reflecting a lot. Mostly because in every one of my classes I have had to write reflection paper after reflection paper where I am supposed to ponder and think about my work thus far in my college education. I think taking a critical look back on your work and your accomplishments is a vital part of growth and discovery and in order to have that shift in understanding of yourself, others, and the world around you, reflection is key.

I'm totally ready for summer! I just want to sit by the pool and think back to simpler times when my biggest decision involved what I was going to eat for lunch. I will also hopefully get a sparkling, dazzling tan. I want to look fabulous for my last year of college (which is why I purchased Carmen Electra's Home Workout DVD) and be in a peaceful mental state for when I take on those 21 hours in the fall.

Oiy!

I'm at the precipice.

2009-04-23T14:28:00.000-07:00

I suppose I should write a new post. It's been awhile.

In my directing class, I'm directing a scene called Precipice. It's about a boy and a girl hiking on a mountain. It is getting to be the end of the day and a storm is on its way. They need to hurry down the mountain because storms on this mountain are deadly. They come to a precipice and need to jump across to the other side in order to proceed down the rest of the mountain. When they were hiking up the mountain earlier that day, they jumped across a precipice and the girl is convinced that this is the same precipice that they jumped across that morning. The boy is not convinced. It's a simple jump; only a couple of feet. The problem is that the storm has brought with it some terrible fog, therefore the boy and the girl can't see across the precipice. They can't see where to jump.

The girl has faith. She has been hiking on this trail all of her life and "knows in her heart" that she can jump across and be fine. Plus, she's willing to jump because after all, there is a terrible storm on the way and doesn't want to get caught in it.

The boy needs proof. He repeatedly asks her for proof that they can jump across and that this is the same precipice. He asks her how she knows that the other side is really only a couple of feet away. She says she "just knows." She then throws a rock to the other side and it hits stone, thus proving that the other side is there and it's not very far away. She then gets ready to jump across.

He: Unbelievable.
She: What?
He: You're really going to run and leap into the fog not knowing what's over there?
She: I know what's over there.
He: You don't know. You believe. You hope. You wish. You pray. You don't know the difference between what you know and what you hope.
She: You heard the stone land on that ledge.
He: Stone hit stone. Period. That's a typical you-ism. You hope a ledge is there, therefore a ledge's over there. No! There's rock over there. It may be flat. Or it may be round. It may be vertical. It may be horizontal. It's not a fact because you said it. It's only a fact when I can see it.

At the end of the scene, the girl decides that it is too much risk to try to jump where she can't see and that it may not be the same precipice they jumped over that morning. They decide to build a fire and take refuge in a fallen tree.

Before I began working on this scene with my actors, it was important for us to decide if this was really the precipice they jumped over that morning. We had to decide if the girl was right or if the boy was right.

We decided that the boy was right.

There is a popular TV series called Lost that my roommates LOVE. They watch it every Wednesday. I don't watch it so I'm not entirely sure what the plot is or the characters involved. But, a number of times, I've heard it said that Lost is about "men of science" and "men of faith." I've totally taken that theme and applied it to my directing scene, because, well, that's what it's about.

I think it's interesting that I decided to choose for the boy to be right.

I can't jump where I can't see.

Are you the boy or the girl?

The Hills Are Alive! ...with the sound of crying babies, Barney the Dinosaur, Tonka trucks, and "stop hitting your brother!"

2009-04-04T10:46:00.000-07:00

Hello.

Today is Saturday but I think I left my brain back in Thursday.

Let me explain.

I work in the Kids Club at 24hour fitness. I'm the Supervisor actually, which has me making the schedule, interviewing and hiring new staff, cleaning, buying supplies, and much more. I also happen to be really good with kids, or at least, I can tolerate them better than some of the other kids club attendants. The Kids Club is a place in the gym where parents can drop off the kids to be watched (by me or the four other girls that work there) for up to two hours while they go work out. In the Kids Club, we have movies galore, a huge jungle gym, 2 X-boxes, coloring books and crayons, and toys toys toys. Fun stuff, eh?

Well, sometimes moms ask me to babysit their kids on a Friday or Saturday night. Date night. Which is fine with me because that's some quick, easy cash.

I have gotten really close to a couple of families that come to the gym and so I babysit their kids a lot. So, one day Mrs. Flight Attendant mother asks me if I would be willing to watch her two boys, Big Brother C (age 3) and Little Brother G (age 1) from Thursday to Sunday. Mrs. Flight Attendant explains that she has to be at work all weekend and that Mr. Flight Attendant is also going to be on a business trip. So she needs someone who would be willing to spend all night and day with her children. Cooking, cleaning, running errands, taking the boys to the playground, grocery shopping, etc. So I say "Of course I will!" (for a nice $300)

Boy. Little did I know.

Thursday finally comes and I head over to their house at 9am. It is now 1pm on Saturday and I'm not sure how I have made it this far. I had no idea that taking care of children would be this overwhelming. Don't get me wrong, Big Brother C and Little Brother G are quite possibly the best kids ever. As far as children go, they are well-behaved and follow directions without me having to fuss at them too much.

But kids are difficult.

They eat a lot. And they poop a lot. And they cry a lot.

Mom being gone is hard on C and G. This is the first time mom has been back to work since G was born. Everyone is out of their element here. The kids are all freaked out because they think mom is going to be gone forever. I am freaked out because, holy crap! I'm in charge of these little kids! And Mrs. Flight Attendant calls about every 5 hours or so to check on us. I guess it's hard to be away from your babies for so long.

So I'm doing my best to have fun with Big Brother C and Little Brother G. It's nap time right now and later we are going to McDonald's. My motherly instincts have seriously kicked in and I try to love on these little kids as much as possible so they don't get too upset. I have kissed, tickled, laughed, played in the dirt, watched Wow!Wow! Wubzy!, cared for boo boo's, washed and bathed, scrubbed behind ears, wiped down hands and face (hands and face! hands and face!), sang sing-a-longs, picked up toys, picked up toys, picked up toys, and told bedtime stories more in the last three days than I ever have in my life thus far. I have also scared away my fair share of monsters under the bed.

Mothers- I don't know how you do it.

Spring Break!

2009-03-16T19:47:00.000-07:00

Spring Break is this week. Woot!

It seems like spring break should be a time when you can relax and gather the bits and pieces of your brain that you have lost since school started in January.

But alas, the list of things that I have to get done before school starts again has grown quite long.

1. LAUNDRY. I know it's time to do laundry when I don't have any more clean underwear. I usually do laundry once a month. It usually takes me about that long to collect $2 in quarters.

2. Find and cast a 10-15 minute play for my Directing class.

3. Eat the loaf of bread I bought last week before it goes bad.

4. Go to the bank. A real hastle since my car is in the shop and buses aren't running this week because it's spring break.

5. Scrub the bathtub! Sheesh, you'd think that hairdye would rinse off by itself after a while.

6. Catch up on homework. Now see, I'm putting this in the list of things I have to get done...but it won't get done. I don't know why I bother. I always do homework the day before it's due. However, I don't think of myself as a procrastinator....I think of myself as someone who works better under pressure.

I think that's enough for now. It's best not to overwhelm oneself with too many things. You have to leave room in your life for the unplanned. That's when I am my best self.

I am also going to Fort Worth on Thursday to visit Jennie and Tom and Alisa and Calysta and possibly Wendy. Hooray! I am so excited to see part of the fam! Being in college is a lot of fun but sometimes it is lonely. Sometimes you just want to be surrounded by people whom you know really care about you.

Thank you, Shakespeare.

2009-03-08T14:09:00.000-07:00

School is going well.

I'm about half-way through the semester and I'm getting ready for mid terms and such. And then Spring Break!

Tomorrow is Monday. Monday is my busiest day of the whole week because I have 2 three hour classes and it just about kills me. I have Creative Drama 2 which is basically a class on how to lesson plan and incorporate drama into school. I also have Directing 2. I have two presentations tomorrow, the first being presenting a lesson plan that I created for a second grade math class. See, I'm terrible with math but luckily I seem to have mastered telling time and putting numbers in chronological order, which is part of what you learn in second grade. Safe!

I'm presenting my directing scene which hopefully will go well. We've rehearsed and had many discussions about the characters in the scene. But theatre is completely subjective. So my class and professor may hate it. Who knows.

Last year for my birthday my roommate Kelly got me the Complete Works of Shakespeare. Naturally, it's a huge book. Yesterday, since I didn't have to work, I started reading Twelfth Night. It's proving to be very entertaining. You should read it. One thing that I have learned while reading Shakespeare is that you have to read the sonnet/play many times before you can fully appreciate it. Read it the first time to get a feel for the plot. A second time to understand the language. A third time to look for underlying meanings and messages. I doubt anyone can understand Shakespeare by just reading it once, anyway.

This kind of relates to life, as well. I wish people made many attempts to get to know someone before they judged or made decisions about what someone is or isn't like. The world would be a much happier place.

Act One/Scene Two

2009-02-24T22:16:00.000-08:00

Question: Has anyone ever been sitting in a waiting room, or on the bus, or standing in line at the grocery store and felt compelled to talk to the person next to you? Even though this person is a total stranger?

Personally, I feel really awkward talking to a total stranger. But I notice that other people do it all the time.

Let's raise the stakes here.

What if this person in the grocery store or on the bus is someone that you don't know but you see them at this place all the time. Is the fact the you frequent the same place at the same time grounds to strike up a conversation?

Let's raise the stakes even higher. What if your thoughts of or about this person happen when you AREN'T at the grocery store. What if this person slowly ends up in every other thought throughout any particular day. Is that grounds to say hello and introduce yourself the next time you are both buying milk and bread on saturday afternoon?

I am directing a short play in my directing 2 class this semester and this scenario that I have just described is the plot. Except the two characters, Sue and David, sit in the waiting room of their therapists office every Monday night, waiting to go into each of their therapists offices and begin their session. They do not know each other and they have waited in the same waiting room at the same doctor's office every Monday night for the last 18 months. He has noticed her. She has noticed him. Attraction? Well, of course. But not a word has been exchanged.

In the scene, David decides to finally talk to her. But mostly because this is his last therapy session and presumably, they will never see each other again.

The stakes are not high.

I am curious and interested in why people do things or say things when they think they have nothing to lose.

Stay tuned and I will tell you how my directing scene goes.

Act One/Scene One

2009-02-13T20:38:00.000-08:00

"This directing thing just sort of fell my way and landed in my lap."
-Charles S. Dutton

When I was in high school, it never entered into my mind that I could be a director. I always thought the only way to do theatre was to act...which is something that I'm terrified of (go figure). I thought that maybe some day I would grow out of being shy. And then I got to college and guess what? I'm still terrified.

It wasn't until I took my first Directing class that I realized that this is what I really enjoy doing. I mean, it makes sense...I don't have to be onstage to create art. In fact, the director is the one who creates the art...the actors are just the tools. So take that!

It really just donned on me one day that I enjoy putting together and telling stories.

When I was younger I used to have to go to the airport and ride the plane back and forth in between my mom's house and father's house. Hours and hours in the airport and on the plane is not the best thing in the world for a kid but I entertained myself by making up stories about the people waiting in the terminal or sitting next to me on the plane. I made up intricate, detailed stories about where these people were coming from and where they were going and what they were going to do when they got there...also, what their clothes and luggage and hairstyle and the way they walked said about their life/lifestyle. A couple of times, when I had time to spare before boarding the plane, I rode the tram several times around the airport by myself just to see how many different types of stories I could create. It was all completely made up but for some reason it felt so real to me.

(I guess I wasn't afraid of being kidnapped)

I still make up these stories whenever I go somewhere where there are a lot of people...grocery stores, at school (there are about 50,000 students and teachers at UT, for goodness sake), libraries, malls, etc. I don't frequent airports anymore so I've had to find alternatives.

It's funny how children spend a lot of their "growing up" years wondering and wondering and hoping and thinking about what they will be when they grow up. A rockstar! An astronaut! (or in my case: A princess!) And then one day, you just know. This epiphany may come at any point in one's life, but inevitably, you just know.

It's what you believe, it's what you're passionate about, it's what you would do even if no one paid you to do it.

Okay, From the Top.

2009-02-10T17:01:00.000-08:00

Well, here it is.

My first post.

I started a blog because I want to share bits of my life with others...or maybe I just like to talkS about myself. Meh, either one works.

I'm mostly going to be writing about what I spend a majority of my time doing: directing.
It's what I'm most interested in can talk about for hours on end.
I'm taking a Directing 2 class this semester as well as two classes on theatre and art in education
so my knowledge on this subject is pretty intense.

Directing is essentially knowing a lot about everything and a smart director knows that 90% of directing is casting right. If you have good actors, your job is simple. A director is a jack of all trades and pays attention to detail. No decision is a small decision.

So there it is.

Stay tuned for regular posts.