Feeling Odd

The job hunt has not been going so well. I have applied to many school districts and have not heard back from anyone. Bummer. On one hand, I sort of like not knowing where I'm going. It's like a mystery...a surprise. I love moving to new places and figuring my way around a new place. I've moved to 3 different apartments during my time in Austin and each time I move, there is something exciting about the change of pace and the new atmosphere. I am almost positive that Avery and I won't be living in Austin this next year and I'm kind of glad. Austin is a good college town. But I'm tired of being here. Not really because I don't like the city- it's wonderful- but I'm ready for something new.

On the other hand, I would like to have a job lined up. I've been thinking a lot about substitute teaching and it doesn't sound appealing. I mean yeah, it's related experience that would look good on my resume, but ick. I want my own classroom and my own students. I feel like a complete bum not having a job. But, oh, I love being at home with Avery. She had an absolute FIT yesterday when I went to go babysit and left her with Wilson. I was secretly so happy. She just wanted her mama. I love feeling wanted and needed (as I'm positive everyone does). Especially by someone so little and cute. It gives your life meaning and purpose. TANGENT: It makes me so sad when I see people who put meaningless things before their children. Before their own flesh and blood. I've seen seemingly adept, intelligent, good mothers follow the crowd and choose to put their own needs and whatever will soothe their own insecurities in front of their precious children. Sad story. My girl is numero uno.

I'm in this weird place in my life right now. I'm fresh out of college with a Bachelor's degree and I don't know where to make my next move. It's puzzling. I'm in a funk. And I'm getting restless not knowing what the next year holds for me.

Only time will tell.

You make bath time so...much...fun??

Avery loves to eat. I think it is plain to see by the intense chunk rolls that she's sportin. She loves every kind of baby food that I spoon into her mouth- except peas. Don't even try to put peas in her mouth. In fact, she doesn't even want to look at them. GAG. She likes to get the baby food on her hands so that she can lick it off. Weird kid. Needless to say, with the mush being all over her hands, it is also inevitably all over her face, legs, arms, toes, and hair. It gets pretty messy. In the bathtub for you! So I strip her down and throw her in the tub.

This is the part where I've ruined her childhood.

Today, she was having a bath, just like every day and I put a yellow rubber ducky into her bathtub. Cool, she says. She swats at it and gums it and so on. I was just sitting in the tub with her just watching her play. And then, I did an awful thing. I didn't know it was awful before I did it but APPARENTLY I should not have done it. I made a QUACK noise. Ya know, quack quack goes the duck. Well, when I said QUACK I scarred the poop right out of Avery. Not literally but OHMYGOSH she jumped and yelped and screamed. That friggin duck scared her so bad, with it's QUACK. See, she's still too little to realize that it was me who made the quacking noise and not the rubber ducky. She lunged herself into me and practically climbed up my body. Poor baby. She wouldn't stop screaming until I took the duck out of her bathtub. I put it on the ledge of the bathtub and she watched it. To make sure it wasn't going to jump back in her bathtub and make that awful QUACKING sound again. OH THE HORROR. She began playing again in the water with her little cups and various other bath toys. And every once in awhile she would look up and eye that stupid duck to make sure it was staying away. And then she would return to her playing.

Here is the part where I am an awful mother.

I could not resist the urge to put the rubber ducky back into her bathtub. I tried to resist, I really did. But alas, I could not. She was distracted with her other toys and I quietly put the ducky back into her tub. She didn't notice at first, but as soon as she saw it, you could see that look of terror in her eyes as she remembered the QUACK and BWAAAAHHHHH! screams! Get that duck out of here! Poor baby. I put the duck back of the ledge of the bathtub, and do you know what she did, y'all?! She reached her hand out and knocked that stupid ducky right of the ledge of the bathtub. Because what is she, dumb?? She knows that rubber ducky with its scary QUACK might jump back in her bathtub. She's not taking any chances here. This is life or death.

Little does she know that it was her mean old mom that put the ducky back into her bathtub. Some day, I suspect, she will get hip to my jive and I will not get away with teasing her so easily.