On the other hand, I would like to have a job lined up. I've been thinking a lot about substitute teaching and it doesn't sound appealing. I mean yeah, it's related experience that would look good on my resume, but ick. I want my own classroom and my own students. I feel like a complete bum not having a job. But, oh, I love being at home with Avery. She had an absolute FIT yesterday when I went to go babysit and left her with Wilson. I was secretly so happy. She just wanted her mama. I love feeling wanted and needed (as I'm positive everyone does). Especially by someone so little and cute. It gives your life meaning and purpose. TANGENT: It makes me so sad when I see people who put meaningless things before their children. Before their own flesh and blood. I've seen seemingly adept, intelligent, good mothers follow the crowd and choose to put their own needs and whatever will soothe their own insecurities in front of their precious children. Sad story. My girl is numero uno.
I'm in this weird place in my life right now. I'm fresh out of college with a Bachelor's degree and I don't know where to make my next move. It's puzzling. I'm in a funk. And I'm getting restless not knowing what the next year holds for me.
Only time will tell.
You're in a transitional phase of life. Transitions are hard for me, too. Once I have a plan and begin putting it into action, I always feel better and happier. I think you will too.
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, enjoy all your free time with that beautiful baby of yours. She's delightful, and luscious, and beautiful, and very special. And if sometime in the future you ever feel like she's driving you out of your ever-lovin' mind, it's okay to indulge yourself with a little break. You have to feed your own soul if you want to have anything to give to her. No one can run for very long on an empty tank.
I think you have given yourself choices for your life, and now are waiting to see the direction you'll take--as your mama says, you're in a transitional phase. They're a little unsettling, because I guess we all want to know where we're going.
ReplyDeleteYou're ready for whatever opportunities may come, and that's really the next-to-biggest thing. Of course, your wonderful little chickie is by far the biggest deal.
Have fun with her!
...one more thing, KB.
ReplyDeleteThese periods can lead us down pathways that aren't our best choices--we get a little panicked at not having a good plan so we choose something--ANYthing--just to have one.
Take your time--you have lots of choices in your future, and you need to have all your options available!!
Think what you really want--not what you think you have to have.
I am so excited to see you VERY SOON!
Your Mother and Grandmother are both wrong. You're in deep trouble. You don't have a job! It's panic time!
ReplyDeleteStart selling of your clothes and your television.
Have you checked to see if the local newspaper is hiring? You and Avery could deliver them together on a bike.
This is a very tough time to look for a job. With unemployment somewhere between 10% and 20%, there are too many applicants and not enough openings.
Just keep sending out resumes and work on being the best Mom you can be until the right job opens up.
I've always felt that whenever you are faced with problems or disappointment or crises, it's always followed by something great...so stay positive, send out resumes, and just wait for that something great to come along.