Hello, my baby Hello, my darlin'

So it's been three, almost four, weeks since my little Buttercup arrived, so I guess I should tell you all about it before the details become blurry and hazy in my mind. I replay the day over and over in my head several times a day because I loved every moment, contractions and pain and all.

Wilson, my mother and I showed up at the hospital at 7am to get checked in and settled into my l&d room. One of my friends came a little bit later. At 8am my doctor broke my water and I was off! There was no turning back. That baby would be here soon. I came to the hospital already 3.5 centimeters dilated and 60% effaced so I had a considerable head start into labor.

By noon my contractions were getting really intense. I tried rocking back and worth on the "birthing ball" but what felt best was just sitting straight up in bed. My lovely mother rubbed my feet and Wilson held my hand. They were both wonderful coaches and I'm so glad I had them there with me. When my contractions began to hurt really bad I just looked into Wilson's eyes and thought about the little life we made. With each contraction, I took deep breaths and blew away the pain. I tried so hard to stay in control and not let the pain and my emotions get the best of me. I didn't have any pain meds.

So 3pm rolls around and I am soo ready to push. Like, ohmyhell that nurse better let me push this baby out RIGHT now or else... I might do something drastic! I'm 9.5 centimeters dilated and everyone is telling me it's not time to push, it's not time to push but it has got to be time. A little bit later...it was time. Up to this point, time has been flying by. People have been in and out of my room and I have been aware of everything that has been going on. But all of the sudden, everything seems to be slowing down. In comes my doctor and the lights turn off. It's dark except for the one light that is shining above my hooha. It's dark and it's quiet. I know that it must have seemed quiet because I was so tired from hours and hours of contractions and all those contractions made my ears unable to function properly. I know there are at least 8 or 10 people in my room, ready and waiting for a baby, so there must have been some noise. I start to push and it feels so good to push. So good. A few days later my mom and I were talking about how good it felt to push. We decided that no, it doesn't really feel good...like, you don't just wake up one day and say to yourself "ya know, I think today I'd like to push a baby out of me, I bet that'd feel good." It actually hurts like the dickens but after those contractions, boy, pushing feels like easy money.

So there I am, pushpushpush, and my nurse tells me that I'm approaching what they in the biz call the "Ring of Fire." What?! Ex-cuuuse me?! Ring of fire? Great. I think that's when the baby's head is crowning. I don't really remember what the explanation of the ring of fire was because I was too busy experiencing it. Anyways, everyone is crowded around, watching the show, and I couldn't help but think about all the women that have ever appeared on A Baby Story. It's a T.V. show that comes on The Learning Channel that documents women giving birth. I know that maybe I should have been thinking about something more sentimental like, oh, I don't know, my daughter entering the world, but I wasn't. I was comparing myself to those women. My legs are shaved and my toes are painted a lovely shade of pink (thanks to my mother). Shoot.

Well before I knew it, it was 3:55 and I gave one more push and out she came! Wide- eyed and just as pretty as ever. Hardly any cheese. It was strange to see her for the first time, on the outside. In one moment you analyze this little being that is suddenly your entire world and your heart softens and the pain of childbirth melts away and your life is changed. All in one little moment.

The rest of my time in the hospital was pretty normal and boring, except for the time when I was with my little one. I hope I never get so sick that I have to be in the hospital. It is dreadfully boring sitting in bed. Thank goodness for all the people who came to visit and stay with me. I'd have gone bonkers without them.

After 48 hours in the hospital and a night at my apartment, my mother took me home with her so that she could help and take care of me and Avery. I am so glad that she did, too. Thanks mom, for everything that you did. I'm not sure if I could have successfully handled Avery all by myself. I love my mother dearly and appreciate the hours that she took the baby while I slept or took a shower, the meals that she cooked, and all of the mothering advise and wisdom. I also loved hearing how much she loves Avery. I love that she loves my baby (how could she not??). I'm lucky to have a mother who cares deeply for me and my little family.

Now I am back in Austin taking care of my little one and my Wilson and getting ready to start school again. Sheesh. One more semester. I will graduate. I will graduate. I must graduate. As difficult as this semester will be, I will cherish every moment of it because when it is over, I will have graduated college with a 5 month old and proven to myself that I can do anything.