Ya know, it's funny....

The holidays are upon us and I'm so excited!

It's funny how when you have a child, the holidays become fun and exciting and new again. It's like experiencing your childhood all over again (which may or may not be a good thing for some people). At this point Avery is just too young to know of all the festivities going on around her, but, boy, it sure is fun to pretend that she is appreciating the good smells coming from the kitchen, the dozens of toys under the christmas tree for her, and all of the houses decorated with lights. I love watching her experience new things and seeing her reactions. Watching her learn has got to be the most rewarding, satisfying, and exciting thing ever. She's a smart cookie.

In other news, I quit one of my teaching jobs. On one hand, I feel bad because I was only there for one semester and I would have liked to show more of a commitment to the staff and students. But on the other hand, I really couldn't handle it. When I was hired, I wasn't given any warning about what I might encounter or how I should handle certain students and situations. And I'm talking about situations that wouldn't happen in your typical elementary classroom. I wasn't told that a lot (read: most) of the students had social issues, medical issues, or serious problems at home. In a city's school district, you can go to the office and read a child's file which would tell you about any past and current issues. Not that some issues define a child, but it's good to know what you're dealing with. It's good to know if you should be more sensitive in regards to a particular students needs, etc. At the school I was just teaching at, there were no files, there was no heads up, there was nothing. I was just surprised when students did or said things that I had no idea could or would ever happen. I was just supposed to deal with whatever came my way. There was little to no support from the head of the school or from the other teachers. It was like, every man for himself. As a first- year teacher, I need all of the support and help I can get. I'm sort of proud of myself for making that declaration because a lot of the time I just try to do everything myself. But this is my CAREER we're talking about here. I want to do it right, the right way, and if asking for help is how I can get it right, then by golly, I will ask. But there was no one to ask at the this school, there was no one that would sit down with you and work out any issues. Does that sound baby-ish to you? To me, it sort of sounds like I'm asking someone to hold my hand and walking with me step by step. But, hey, you try to be a teacher, and then we'll talk.

"Only the brave should teach."

I never thought that teeth would cause so much anxiety in my life. Yes, I said teeth. My daughters teeth. It just never occurs to someone that those little pearly whites can just shatter your days and your very existence. Why won't those teeth just cut already?! I'm so tired of her not eating and seriously, I can't handle much more of this going to bed at 10pm and waking up at 5am business. It's just so exhausting. And, it's funny, because before I was a mother, going to bed later than 10 and waking up at 5am was no problem. Hell, I did it in college all the time! Stay up late to write papers, and then wake up early for an 8am class. Five days a week I did that. And I was good to go! But caring for another human being is just so exhausting. I don't know how the mothers of multiples do it. I could not do it. I mean, I guess I would do it if I had to, ya know, because they're my children. But right now, I can barely get past 8pm without wanting to burry my face in my pillow and cry. Wahh wahhh wahhhhh.

Really, it's not that bad. But it is very tiring.

Happy Holidays everyone! I have been listening to my Charlie Brown Christmas music (and also I've had my Lady Gaga cd on repeat....because I'm just so stinkin funky.)

No no no november

I like that I didn't post anything in November. It's almost as if that month never even happend...

Today when Avery and I were at the WIC clinic (for her one-year certification) we were waiting....and waiting... and waiting. And while all of this waiting was occurring Avery was everywhere. Like, she was all "see you later, motherrrr!" She was walking all over the place and was totally not concerned about where I was or what I was doing. I guess she figures that I'm keeping track of her. All of the other kids were sitting quietly next to their mothers. But not my kid. Oh no. I was running all over trying to keep her out of some lady's purse or catching her before she zoomed outside while someone was holding the door open. I had to lunge for her before she took some kids cheerios. Sheesh. Why can't she just sit quietly next to me like all of the other freakin kids?! Well, I will tell you why. When I was talking to another mother that was sitting close to me, she said:

"How old is your daughter?"

"She's almost one. She'll be one in a few weeks," I said.

"Oh, wow, I can't believe she's walking," she exclaimed.

"Yeah, she's a big girl," I said.

"My son is 18 months and still not walking. I have to carry him everywhere," she said.

"Really?!"

Come to find out, several of the children at the clinic were well past their first birthdays and still not walking (that's why they were sitting quietly). I mean, I guess that's normal for some kids to walk later, but seriously, I would rather chase Avery around than her not be able to walk yet. And, really, I would die if I had to carry Avery around everywhere. She weighs almost 100 lbs.

Upon seeing Avery shake her head "no" in line at the grocery store, a woman behind me jokingly asked if Avery was almost 2 years old. Chuckle all you want, lady, but it's me who has to live with the little girl who is all the time telling me no. She can almost say it, too. She has the "nuh" sound down, just not the "oh."

But, boy, is she cute. If she was half as cute as she is now, she'd still be too cute for the world to handle.

Mid-Semester

50 yard line! I'm almost done with the semester! Half down, half to go.

Thank goodness.

Y'all, if it is possible, Avery is getting cuter every single day. Her personality is emerging and boy, what a poop! But also a cutie patootie. I need to start carrying a large stick with me, because everywhere we go, I have to politely excuse myself and my child, because we really gotta get going, it's almost dinner time, sorry we can't stay and chat about how cute my child is. Yes, she waves goodbye, yes she plays patty cake, yes, she will even give kisses. Now, please, the milk in my basket is getting warm. I need a stick to beat people away. For goodness sake. The saying should go: "With great cuteness comes great responsibility." Because I swear, Avery is the source of many people's happiness. Complete strangers, I mean. Of course she is the source of my happiness. I have to meet my quota and take her out several times a week so that the old ladies who frequent Randall's can play with Avery in the frozen dinner aisle and find the strength to live another day.

Okay, I might be over dramatizing this a tad. But I'm a theatre teacher. It's what I do. (Notice I said theatre teacher. Not theatre major. I'm growing up.)

Anywho, she now shakes her head "no." All the time. Whenever I ask her anything. And even when I don't ask her anything at all.

"Avery, do you want to eat your green beans?" *shakes head*

"Avery, do you want to go to bed?" *shakes head*

"Avery, do you want a bottle?" *shakes head*

"Avery, do you want a chocolate donut with rainbow sprinkles?" *shakes head*

"How did you sleep, Avery?" *shakes head*

"It's a very nice day outside, Avery" *shakes head*

"You're a poop, Avery." *shakes head*

All the time, it's *shakes head*

Crazies

I realize it's been awhile since I last posted. So this post will be a nice long one and will hopefully satisfied everyone's insatiable appetite for all things Addison-Warner.

I have started teaching school. My first day was two weeks ago and now that I've had time to digest what is actually happening, I feel that I can share it with you.

"Only the brave should teach."

I'm not sure who said that, I'm feeling a little too lazy to go look it up, but someone said it. And I'd have to say that I concur. Teaching really is a difficult profession and I quite frankly don't know that I'm cut out for it. Oh, I'm not giving it up, that's for sure, but there are some aspects about teaching that I don't know that I'll ever be able to get over. (TANGENT- as I am typing this, Avery is getting into the bathroom cabinets. Luckily that's not where I keep the rat poison. TIME FOR CABINET LOCKS!)

One thing, for instance, is that kids have these really active and wild imaginations. Which I love. But also, it can be a real damper on the class when I have all 20 kids arguing over which of their own ideas should be incorporated into the play we're writing. How do I go about weeding through that mess? I want our work to be original and written by them, but honestly, I can't use everyone's ideas.

Another thing is that people have this perception about theatre education that is puzzling to me. Actually, I don't think it's puzzling because it does make a little sense but I just hate it. Parents of the kids in my class somehow think that all we do in theatre class is plays. I get emails from parents that ask if their little johnny can sit out during my lessons because he's not comfortable doing plays. I want to respond that we're not doing a play at this moment- but we are learning how to control our voices and our bodies so that when the time does come to do a play, we're all prepared. It's like, being in a music class and all you do during class is get together and play a symphony, or everyday in P.E. you compete in a triathlon. I don't think that some people realize that theatre is more than just acting in plays. There is a lot of technique and skill to be acquired, not to mention many other roles to take on besides acting, before you can just waltz up to any ol stage and perform shakespeare.

The last thing I'd like to complain about is that fact that some kids cannot be helped. Well, okay, that's not exactly what I mean. What I do mean is that I, Karie Warner, can not be the one to teach your kid all the life skills that s/he needs to be successful in life. I will certainly try. But it is impossible for me to do it all. Now don't worry, no one has said that they expect me to, I'm merely saying/typing this to assure myself. Because I really want to teach these kids how to get a grip. But I'm not superwoman. And there will hopefully be many other teachers in these kids lives that can further their progress into normal humanization.

Now then, on to what all you people really want to hear about: my sweet little Buttercup. Let me just say that if any of you happend to read my middle-of-the-night facebook status updates, I was seriously lacking in the sleep department. And I currently still am. You see, Avery has been all out of sorts for the last two weeks. I suspect it has something to do with the fact that school has started and life as she knows it is crazy and hectic. Which, it is for me also, but she's little and doesn't know any better. Her anxiety is coming out in her sleepy time, or should i say her severe lack of sleep time. She went from sleeping all the way through the night plus taking two or three really good hour/two hour naps to waking up at 4am and taking two quick 30 minutes naps everyday. And then this past Friday night was really the kicker. I was so tired that I was walking around our apartment asking myself if this was really happening. Can a person actually function properly like this? The answer, my friends, is no.

Here is what happend:

It was 8pm on a typical Friday night. Avery had not had a nap in five or so hours so it was definitely bed time. I was rocking her to sleep, like I normally do, and wilson announces that he's going to go down to the 24-hour coffee house that's near our apartment and take these tests in order to get certified in something for work. Alright, alright I say. I was planning on watching a little t.v. and then hitting the hay as soon as Avery went down, so the fact that he would probably be gone all night didn't phase me. He had to take three tests that were each two hours long. Shyeah. So Avery falls asleep and I put her in bed. Woo-eee! It's mama time. I pull out the little chocolate caramel brownies (that are only 60 calories a piece, you have to only eat one or two, that's the tricky part...I'm trying to lose weight) from the fridge, turn the t.v. to TBS, Forrest Gump is on, and I settle down for a nice quiet evening. Well, 9:30 rolls around and I'm just about ready to go to bed, when Avery wakes up. So I go get her, rock her back to sleep, put her back in bed, and then go in my room to clean up a little. So I'm sorting all my school supplies and pretty soon, princess has woken up again. So, I go get her again, rock her back to sleep and finally decide that I better get to bed. I wash my face, put my jammies on, get under the covers. I'm exhausted. I was up at 5am with Avery that morning (and every morning for the past week) and hadn't had a nap all day. I look at the clock...10:15. Shoot, I'm beat. The next thing I know, it's 11pm and Avery is screaming in her crib. Buhhhh. I get up and get her out of her crib and we go sit in the living room until she's reaaaaallly sleepy and ready to go back to bed. Midnight passes. 1am. 2am. 3am. 4am. Oh my word. Is this child ever going to bed!? She's been crying for two hours, and quite frankly, so have I. We're both exhausted and cranky, except the difference is that she doesn't want to go to bed and I do. Wilson is still not home. Avery is still screaming. And I've just about had it. Similac recalled their formula due to a beetle infestation and Avery won't drink anything else, so it's not like I can give her a bottle to make her settle down and go to bed. So, I decide that enough is enough, put her in her crib and go lay down. She's still screaming, of course, but if she cries longer that 15 minutes, I'll go get her. I go get in bed and stare at the clock. 4:15. screaming. 4:18. screaming. 4:20, a little less screaming. 4:27. she's out. So am I.

Wilson gets home a little after 5 and he reports that Avery is sitting up in her bed. At least she's not screaming. I tell him about our hellish night and he says that he'll stay up with her for awhile so I can sleep. I sleep till 8:30 and then get up so wilson can get some rest.

She took one nap on Saturday.

I'm dying.

And I'm sure that you are too, after reading this whole post.

Today is Sunday and we are all exhausted. I'm dreading tomorrow because I know it's going to be a long week.

I hope all of you out there get some sleep tonight.

Blah blah blah

Well we're all moved. Like officially. All the boxes are unpacked, the post office has received my request for a Change Of Address and we're pretty much all settled in. Avery recognizes that our new home is home. Except let me just say that we live on the second floor. Hell. Avery weighs an incredible 21 pounds plus the added weight of groceries or diaper bag or whatever else I'm carrying up the stairs along with her. I think that is the most inconvenient part about our new place. At least I will have killer biceps in a few months though. Also, another inconvenient part is that we dont have a washer/dryer. Gotta start collecting quarters and rock out the laundry room.

Avery has become my little lap dog and I am teaching her tricks. She's pretty good at catching on and performing. I have taught her the "How big is Avery--So big!" trick. Also, when I say "oh Avery, what a bad cough you have!" she will start fake coughing. She gives open-mouthed kisses and hugs. She's so funny. Hilarious.

This summer has been pretty eventful. We've been all over Texas. We had a lot of fun but we're glad to be home.

I now have a job at Springs Enrichment Academy teaching theatre on Tuesdays. School starts Sept. 14 and I'm pretty excited. I am also babysitting on Mon/Weds every week to help pay ze bills. The gigantic mountain of student loan bills that have to be paid soon. Buhhhhhhh. I'm not sure what I was thinking before I started college but had I realized that I would accrue (sp?) so much debt, I might have re-thought that whole college thing. *sigh*

hot dog hot dog hot diggity dog

Moving

We are moving.

Grooooaaan.

I hate moving.

Here are some moving tips:

1.) While packing, it is very easy to become distracted. Nevermind all the goodies that are found while going through closets, looking under the bed, and pulling everything out of drawers/cabinets. I'm talking about the million other things that can distract while trying to pack: Updating facebook status, cell phone ringing, check facebook, the sudden hunger pangs in your belly, check facebook, that one thing that you just now remembered to do that you had completely forgot about last week but it is suddenly VERY important. Check facebook. Anything and everything is suddenly way more important than packing. But the moving day looms closer.

2.) Don't make a deal with your boyfriend, agreeing that you will do all of the packing if he will then put all of the boxes in the moving truck. It sounds for an instant like a good idea. But then you have to go pack everything.

3.) Let the baby stay at Grandma's house.

4.) Throw away more than you pack. Trust me, you don't need the fifty bottles of half full nail polish in various shades of red and pink. Keep one red and one pink. Throw the rest away.

5.) Be smarter than yourself. What do I mean by that, you ask?? Whenever I come across an item that I feel as if I can't possibly live without, I ask myself "Could I buy a newer, better item, very similar to this one?" If the answer is yes, I throw it away with promises to myself that I will get a newer/better one later, after I have moved. Problem solved! *SHHH! Don't tell Karie this, but I really actually probably won't ever buy another one of whatever item Karie threw away. She will probably most likely forget all about it.* TACTICS.

Those are my best tips.

Enjoy!

About poop.

Avery has two teefs coming in. OMG they are so cute. I can see the little pearly white buds popping up. This explains what all her POOPyness has been all about lately. I mean, talk about drama queen! Hissy fits, left and right. Yesterday she refused to eat her lunch. Not like, "oh no thank you, I don't believe I will be eating that squash today. Maybe another day." No. It was like:

"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GIVING ME SQUASH??!! HAVE I EVER SAID THAT I LIKE TO EAT SQUASH? NO! *SPITS OUT SQUASH*"

Yes, she spits out her food if she is not 100% satisfied. POOP. I believe it was Jennie who taught her how to do raspberries. Well, thanks. Now she does them all during lunchtime.

Boy, does she know how to butter me up. I can tell when it's naptime. Other than the fact that naptime occurs roughly every 2.5 hours, Avery really gets bent out of shape and nothing is right in her world about 15 minutes before naptime. No toy will entertain, no bottle will soothe, no cuddling with mom will please. The only activity that will cure POOPyness is b-e-d. So I pick her up and plop her down in her bed with her binky and blanky. (She only gets these two things at bedtime.) And, as soon as I lay her down, she turns on the charm. She smiles and laughs as if to say "oh no mom, I'm not tired. Look, look at my smile, lets play! please take me out of bed now." And sometimes I fall for it. And I take her out of bed to read one more book or play for 5 more minutes. But the second I do, she's back to being a POOP. I should really learn my lesson.

I don't ever remember being this poopy as a child.

Feeling Odd

The job hunt has not been going so well. I have applied to many school districts and have not heard back from anyone. Bummer. On one hand, I sort of like not knowing where I'm going. It's like a mystery...a surprise. I love moving to new places and figuring my way around a new place. I've moved to 3 different apartments during my time in Austin and each time I move, there is something exciting about the change of pace and the new atmosphere. I am almost positive that Avery and I won't be living in Austin this next year and I'm kind of glad. Austin is a good college town. But I'm tired of being here. Not really because I don't like the city- it's wonderful- but I'm ready for something new.

On the other hand, I would like to have a job lined up. I've been thinking a lot about substitute teaching and it doesn't sound appealing. I mean yeah, it's related experience that would look good on my resume, but ick. I want my own classroom and my own students. I feel like a complete bum not having a job. But, oh, I love being at home with Avery. She had an absolute FIT yesterday when I went to go babysit and left her with Wilson. I was secretly so happy. She just wanted her mama. I love feeling wanted and needed (as I'm positive everyone does). Especially by someone so little and cute. It gives your life meaning and purpose. TANGENT: It makes me so sad when I see people who put meaningless things before their children. Before their own flesh and blood. I've seen seemingly adept, intelligent, good mothers follow the crowd and choose to put their own needs and whatever will soothe their own insecurities in front of their precious children. Sad story. My girl is numero uno.

I'm in this weird place in my life right now. I'm fresh out of college with a Bachelor's degree and I don't know where to make my next move. It's puzzling. I'm in a funk. And I'm getting restless not knowing what the next year holds for me.

Only time will tell.

You make bath time so...much...fun??

Avery loves to eat. I think it is plain to see by the intense chunk rolls that she's sportin. She loves every kind of baby food that I spoon into her mouth- except peas. Don't even try to put peas in her mouth. In fact, she doesn't even want to look at them. GAG. She likes to get the baby food on her hands so that she can lick it off. Weird kid. Needless to say, with the mush being all over her hands, it is also inevitably all over her face, legs, arms, toes, and hair. It gets pretty messy. In the bathtub for you! So I strip her down and throw her in the tub.

This is the part where I've ruined her childhood.

Today, she was having a bath, just like every day and I put a yellow rubber ducky into her bathtub. Cool, she says. She swats at it and gums it and so on. I was just sitting in the tub with her just watching her play. And then, I did an awful thing. I didn't know it was awful before I did it but APPARENTLY I should not have done it. I made a QUACK noise. Ya know, quack quack goes the duck. Well, when I said QUACK I scarred the poop right out of Avery. Not literally but OHMYGOSH she jumped and yelped and screamed. That friggin duck scared her so bad, with it's QUACK. See, she's still too little to realize that it was me who made the quacking noise and not the rubber ducky. She lunged herself into me and practically climbed up my body. Poor baby. She wouldn't stop screaming until I took the duck out of her bathtub. I put it on the ledge of the bathtub and she watched it. To make sure it wasn't going to jump back in her bathtub and make that awful QUACKING sound again. OH THE HORROR. She began playing again in the water with her little cups and various other bath toys. And every once in awhile she would look up and eye that stupid duck to make sure it was staying away. And then she would return to her playing.

Here is the part where I am an awful mother.

I could not resist the urge to put the rubber ducky back into her bathtub. I tried to resist, I really did. But alas, I could not. She was distracted with her other toys and I quietly put the ducky back into her tub. She didn't notice at first, but as soon as she saw it, you could see that look of terror in her eyes as she remembered the QUACK and BWAAAAHHHHH! screams! Get that duck out of here! Poor baby. I put the duck back of the ledge of the bathtub, and do you know what she did, y'all?! She reached her hand out and knocked that stupid ducky right of the ledge of the bathtub. Because what is she, dumb?? She knows that rubber ducky with its scary QUACK might jump back in her bathtub. She's not taking any chances here. This is life or death.

Little does she know that it was her mean old mom that put the ducky back into her bathtub. Some day, I suspect, she will get hip to my jive and I will not get away with teasing her so easily.

Check out this great MSN Video: Little girl gives herself a pep talk

Also, watch this video. Best video ever. I will stand in front of the mirror and proclaim these things to myself each morning! I can do anything good!

Check out this great MSN Video: Little girl gives herself a pep talk

School's out for the summer..ohhh yeahhh!

Well, I'm done. Holy hell I am done. Done with school. I'm done being the student, anyways. I will still be in school for many years, except I'll be the teacher. Buh. I realized today when I was at Office Max that I am destined, nay, doomed to be a teacher because of my love of supplies. School supplies, that is. Oh, teacher heaven! Pens and pencils and paper and tape and paper clips. Paper clips! Backpacks and lunch boxes and erasers. I love it all. The smell of new school supplies is not unlike freshly baked chocolate chip cookies or apple pie. Delicious. Rubber bands!

Avery is quite the little chunk. There, I said it. I put her in a 9 month outfit today, just for the heck of it, and low and behold, it fit perfectly. Passer-by's ask me if she's 6,7, 8 months old and I'm like uhhh....no. Five.

Everywhere we go, people stop to ooh and awe over my precious baby. "She's so happy!" they say. "She's got the best smile!" they chuckle. "She has awesome hair!" they chirp. And deep inside, I am radiant. Can it be that I have given birth to the cutest baby anybody has ever seen?? Yes, yes. I win! I win! I bask in my glory. What a great baby.

I graduate tomorrow from college. Bask.

Ramblings

Someday when I am a grown up woman I will know many things.

I will know:

How to budget my precious pennies.

How to keep my home clean and raise a child(ren) at the same time.

What to cook for dinner.

How to walk into a grocery store and only purchase what was on my list...no extras.

How to make a grocery list.

What to tell my children that will inspire them and make them want to be great people.

What haircut looks best on me.

I have been pondering many things such as these lately.

Avery is getting particular about who puts her to bed. So far, I'm the only one who is privileged enough to do the job. She fusses and fusses if it's anyone but me. I must just have the magic touch. I love that. She is so so sweet. Avery and I went to my friends' birthday dinner last night and Avery just laughed and smiled and sat in my lap or in other people's lap and was just as precious as can be. There was another baby there who is 5 weeks older than Avery and this baby was FUSSY. Avery just stared at this baby and you could see the look of confusion in her eyes, like "what is wrong with that kid??" It donned on me that Avery has never seen another baby before so it must be puzzling to see another little tiny creature like herself. This other baby was reaching out to touch Avery and get her feet and Avery was all "why is she touching me? Doesn't she know that I am not a chucklehead like her? Doesn't she know that I am the queen? Get away, grubby little child."

She is going to be a diva, I think.

Roly Poly

MY BABY ROLLED OVER BY HERSELF TODAY!

It was very exciting. But now, nothing is safe. Before we know it, Avery will be crawling and getting into all sorts of things. Tomorrow Wilson and I are going to baby-proof our apartment.

Avery has also started going to bed at the same time every night. Around 8:30. Hallelujah! I'm so glad she settled on a bedtime that is relatively early. She used to want to stay up until midnight and boy, that was killing me. So, good times. Good times. Way to go, eight thirty.

4 more weeks of school! Goodness, it is almost over. I remember thinking that I would never get through my student teaching semester. I think I sort of have the mindset that since I gave birth without an epidural I CAN DO ANYTHING. Really people. ANYTHING. That was probably the hardest thing I will ever have done so everything else is a piece of cake.

Here is Avery looking as cute as ever in her Easter dress. So pretty!

Coos, Screams, and Other Things

My Little Honey has started to have conversations. She is very interested in what you're saying and has a few opinions of her own and will gladly voice them in the form of vowel sounds and also gurgles. Another way she tells you what's on her mind is by screaming. Screams that could wake the dead. I'm sure there are some zombies walking around out there somewhere. Oh yes, my sweet and pleasant baby has a very violent temper and I shudder to think of her teenage years that are ahead of us. We have started to put her to sleep in her crib instead of letting her sleep in our bed. It kills me. I want her to be snuggled up next to me in bed but I have heard the horror stories of kids sleeping with their parents until kindergarten age and the thought of that kills me even more. Especially because Buttercup sleeps with her arms straight out and kicks furiously throughout the night. I have a foot in my gut most of the night. Anyways, so she is not liking the crib so much. I'm trying so hard to engage all of her senses in our bedtime routine so that she will know when it's bedtime. I spray some lavender and vanilla febreeze in her room (which not only kills the awful smell of peepee diaper but lulls to sleep as well), turn on Lullaby Classics and read a book, turn off the light and turn on her nightlight, wrap her in a blankie, and have a bedtime bottle. There you go, you've got smelling, hearing, seeing, feeling, tasting. She usually falls asleep while I'm holding her and I rock her a little bit and kiss her goodnight and place her gently in her bed.

!!HOLD YOUR BREATH BECAUSE SHE MIGHT WAKE UP!!

She squirms a little bit when I put her down and it's like a 50/50 chance that her squirming will disturb her slumber or she'll settle down and snooze. It's been pretty tough, but we've only been at it for less than a week so I'm hoping that as it becomes more familiar to her, she'll know what's up. Cross your fingers.

Spring Break has come and gone and tomorrow is Monday. 7 more weeks of student teaching and then I'm done. Buhhhhh. It cannot go by quickly enough. I'm at middle school now and I'm not loving it as much as I loved elementary school. It's just not as cheery and happy. Middle-schoolers are dark, creepy, emotionally unstable people and are not eager to do anything remotely educational. Not even when you disguise the education in "fun." I want to go back to elementary school where most of the students can't wait to come to your class and do whatever it is that you have planned. Hell, I could ask elementary students to dig holes in dirt and "hooray! what fun! can we do this again tomorrow?!" Not so in middle school. I am excited to direct a play at the middle school, however. I do miss directing. The excitement of directing a play is coming at a very high price. 14-year olds. Shuudddder.

Almost 3 months

My cutie patootie will be 3 months old on Wednesday. Sheesh, I can't even believe she is getting so big. It seems like only yesterday...

Being a mother is...interesting. I don't feel like I look or sound like a mama. I still feel like a college kid. Which, I am. But it sometimes amazes me that I am someone's mother. Avery looks up at me and says "are yooouu my mother?" She says it with her eyes, of course. That's what she's saying in this picture. I have dreams that we will be best friends, although when I wake up and return to reality, I remember that a lot of times, mothers and daughters fight and fuss and bicker and compete for alpha female. *sigh* I wonder how such a impossibly cute little thing can pick a fight with her mother. Every night around bedtime, she wants me to hold her. And I do. She wants me to cuddle her in my arms. And I do. She wants me to do the walk -n- sway around the house. And I do. She wants me to whisper sweet nothings in her ear. And I do.

I love this girl.

Happy Valentines

Here is a lovely photo of my sweet baby on Valentines.

I love teaching at an elementary school. I got an insane amount of valentines from my students. Pokemon valentines, My Little Pony valentines, Miley Cyrus valentines, cookies, Kit Kat bar valentines, and a delicious cupcake.

I remember when I was little I loved to give my teachers presents for holidays. I was a suck up.

A blog? What?

So, it seems that blogging has dropped way low on my list of things that I must get done in a week. Many of you might know that I just had a baby. Enough said.

I also started student teaching! It is a lot of fun but also very challenging. Which is good. I like a challenge. But boy, I'm exhausted. Since January 5th I have been at Parkside Elementary school in Austin, Tx. It is a great little school and I already love it dearly. The students and staff are all so friendly and welcoming. The teacher I'm working with is really great and he understands that I have a newborn at home and completely understands that I might show up to school half dressed one day because of lack of sleep syndrome. Seriously, some nights I get two hours of sleep. It's been quite interesting to see how much I am capable of accomplishing on two hours of sleep. Nevertheless, my teacher says I'm doing extremely well. And I have to admit, I was doing really well. Until yesterday.

Let me pre-cursor this by saying that yesterday was so awful I actually reconsidered being a teacher. For real, y'all. Yesterday my supervisor came to observe me and evaluate my work and progress thus far. This is the first time she has ever seen me teach and I'm surprised she didn't boot me out of school after witnessing the horror and catastrophe that was my 1st grade class. Oh my hell. So it was basically like trying to heard a bunch of ants. It was a very dark, gloomy, cold, rainy day in Austin so that most awful thing happend. No recess. When outdoor recess is cancelled and indoor recess is put in its place, the children turn into wild, ferocious beasts. Indoor recess does not nearly get out all of the energy that elementary school children have and therefor it is nearly impossible to wrangle them and teach them a decent lesson. Luckily, almost all teachers have issues with children who don't get their fix of recess so me being a student teacher wasn't the problem.

So, I read the 1st graders the story of the 3 Little Pigs. And then, in groups, we acted out the story of the 3 Little Pigs. It might sound like no big deal, but oh my goodness. Those 1st graders can turn the tears on and off in 2 seconds flat. So, one student got bumped into. Tears. Another student didn't get to be the wolf. Tears. I wouldn't let another student go get a drink of water because he had already gone twice before in that class. Tears. The list goes on and on. The whole time, my supervisor is clicking-clacking away on her computer, taking notes about everything I am doing. Disaster. Also, one little boy decided it would be a great idea to stand up on chairs and jump off. We also had an episode where two little girls were trying to pull the loose tooth out of another girls' head.

Mass chaos.

So, my supervisor said she will send me notes. I'm sure they will be about 3 pages long.

Hello, my baby Hello, my darlin'

So it's been three, almost four, weeks since my little Buttercup arrived, so I guess I should tell you all about it before the details become blurry and hazy in my mind. I replay the day over and over in my head several times a day because I loved every moment, contractions and pain and all.

Wilson, my mother and I showed up at the hospital at 7am to get checked in and settled into my l&d room. One of my friends came a little bit later. At 8am my doctor broke my water and I was off! There was no turning back. That baby would be here soon. I came to the hospital already 3.5 centimeters dilated and 60% effaced so I had a considerable head start into labor.

By noon my contractions were getting really intense. I tried rocking back and worth on the "birthing ball" but what felt best was just sitting straight up in bed. My lovely mother rubbed my feet and Wilson held my hand. They were both wonderful coaches and I'm so glad I had them there with me. When my contractions began to hurt really bad I just looked into Wilson's eyes and thought about the little life we made. With each contraction, I took deep breaths and blew away the pain. I tried so hard to stay in control and not let the pain and my emotions get the best of me. I didn't have any pain meds.

So 3pm rolls around and I am soo ready to push. Like, ohmyhell that nurse better let me push this baby out RIGHT now or else... I might do something drastic! I'm 9.5 centimeters dilated and everyone is telling me it's not time to push, it's not time to push but it has got to be time. A little bit later...it was time. Up to this point, time has been flying by. People have been in and out of my room and I have been aware of everything that has been going on. But all of the sudden, everything seems to be slowing down. In comes my doctor and the lights turn off. It's dark except for the one light that is shining above my hooha. It's dark and it's quiet. I know that it must have seemed quiet because I was so tired from hours and hours of contractions and all those contractions made my ears unable to function properly. I know there are at least 8 or 10 people in my room, ready and waiting for a baby, so there must have been some noise. I start to push and it feels so good to push. So good. A few days later my mom and I were talking about how good it felt to push. We decided that no, it doesn't really feel good...like, you don't just wake up one day and say to yourself "ya know, I think today I'd like to push a baby out of me, I bet that'd feel good." It actually hurts like the dickens but after those contractions, boy, pushing feels like easy money.

So there I am, pushpushpush, and my nurse tells me that I'm approaching what they in the biz call the "Ring of Fire." What?! Ex-cuuuse me?! Ring of fire? Great. I think that's when the baby's head is crowning. I don't really remember what the explanation of the ring of fire was because I was too busy experiencing it. Anyways, everyone is crowded around, watching the show, and I couldn't help but think about all the women that have ever appeared on A Baby Story. It's a T.V. show that comes on The Learning Channel that documents women giving birth. I know that maybe I should have been thinking about something more sentimental like, oh, I don't know, my daughter entering the world, but I wasn't. I was comparing myself to those women. My legs are shaved and my toes are painted a lovely shade of pink (thanks to my mother). Shoot.

Well before I knew it, it was 3:55 and I gave one more push and out she came! Wide- eyed and just as pretty as ever. Hardly any cheese. It was strange to see her for the first time, on the outside. In one moment you analyze this little being that is suddenly your entire world and your heart softens and the pain of childbirth melts away and your life is changed. All in one little moment.

The rest of my time in the hospital was pretty normal and boring, except for the time when I was with my little one. I hope I never get so sick that I have to be in the hospital. It is dreadfully boring sitting in bed. Thank goodness for all the people who came to visit and stay with me. I'd have gone bonkers without them.

After 48 hours in the hospital and a night at my apartment, my mother took me home with her so that she could help and take care of me and Avery. I am so glad that she did, too. Thanks mom, for everything that you did. I'm not sure if I could have successfully handled Avery all by myself. I love my mother dearly and appreciate the hours that she took the baby while I slept or took a shower, the meals that she cooked, and all of the mothering advise and wisdom. I also loved hearing how much she loves Avery. I love that she loves my baby (how could she not??). I'm lucky to have a mother who cares deeply for me and my little family.

Now I am back in Austin taking care of my little one and my Wilson and getting ready to start school again. Sheesh. One more semester. I will graduate. I will graduate. I must graduate. As difficult as this semester will be, I will cherish every moment of it because when it is over, I will have graduated college with a 5 month old and proven to myself that I can do anything.