Avery Danielle

I intend to write a post about the best day of my life: December 16th. Although, I'm a little too tired and a little too taken aback to write it out right now.

stay tuned.

Letters to my Love #4

Dear baby,

Today has been a very exciting day. Daddy and I went to my doctor's appointment and the doctor thinks you will arrive within the next week! And if you don't come by yourself, the doctor is going to induce me next Wednesday! I am 3 centimeters dilated and a lot effaced, so I guess you're ready to get out of there. Since my doctor's appointment today I have been doing lots of things to get ready for you to be here. I've packed your diaper bag, gotten my hospital bag ready, and printed out some information that the hospital will need. I've also baked some holiday brownies. But that is of more use to me than it is to you. I can't believe that you're days away from being here! Everyone is soo excited and cannot wait. I really liked having you with me all of the time. It was a very pleasant experience, being pregnant. It wasn't horrible like for some women. I mostly was just in awe of what was happening inside my tummy and I imagined what you were doing in there...which was a lot (growing) and not a whole lot (just hangin' out) at the same time. You are already so very precious and wonderful and I just don't know if your daddy and I will be able to comprehend the amount of perfect you are, in your little pink, pudgy, pretty newborn state.

I love you oh, so much.

Love,

Mama

p.s.- your laundry detergent (which was given to me at my baby shower, I won't be buying that expensive stuff) smells incredible. I am loving snuggling up with your onesies. But once you get here, I will like to snuggle with you more.

Letters to my Love #3

My dear little one,

The day is fast approaching when you make your first appearance. I'm glad you are coming during the holiday season because I love holidays. I don't especially love Thanksgiving Day or Christmas Day or New Years Day....I mostly just like the days leading up to that. The excitement and anticipation and the general nice, warm, and cozy feeling I get. That's the best part. My birthday is next Friday, which I have never really particularly enjoyed, either, but it's nice to know that people care about you and send you happy birthday wishes. Your daddy is taking me to a nice dinner and that will be pretty great but the best present to get this year is you. I couldn't ask for anything better. I hope you will realize and know early on that there are so many people that love you.

Your lease is almost up, my dear! Enjoy the womb while you still can.

Love,

Mama

Letters to my love #2

Dear Little Buttercup-

Today is Thanksgiving and I am very thankful for you. I am very thankful that you are healthy inside my tummy and that I have been healthy throughout my pregnancy. I am thankful that you and I and your daddy have a lot of family that love us and take care of us. You and I ate quite a bit today. Lots of delicious turkey, potatoes, and pie. I can't believe that you will be here in less than a month. It's so surreal and I can't quite wrap my brain around the fact that you will be here so soon. But I'm so excited! And so is everyone else! We all can't wait to include you in all of our holiday festivities. Next Thanksgiving/Christmas you will be one year old and so much fun to play with. You will be starting to walk and get into things that you shouldn't.

Happy Thanksgiving, little one. Keep growing healthy and strong. I love you so so much.

Love,

Mama

Letters to my love #1

My lovely little girl,

Only five more weeks until you arrive! Everyone is so excited for you to be here so that we can all love on you and cuddle you. I know that you are the prettiest girl in the world. Your daddy couldn’t agree more. We stay awake for hours at night, trying to fathom how small and precious you will be when you arrive. I am almost finished with school- only about another three weeks. You are on my mind all the time and sometimes it is very difficult to focus on school and my studies. I just can’t wait until it’s just me and you and daddy at home, cuddling in our bed. We are working hard to get everything ready for when you get here. Last weekend was my baby shower in Houston and I got so many things that I know you will love. I also have another baby shower this weekend in Austin. Your grandmothers are amazing women. You won’t even believe how much they love you and how they will do anything for you. But I want you to know, my little one, that no one will ever love you like I love you. From the moment I knew you were in my tummy, I felt nothing but an overwhelming love for you. I will take care of you all the days of my life.

Love,

Mama

Halloween!

I love Halloween.

Wilson painted a pumpkin on my tummy for Halloween. B makes a very good pumpkin but I'm so excited for next Halloween when she can have an actual costume. I've seen some pretty cute babies dressed up for this Halloween.

There are only 7 1/2 weeks until B gets here. My tummy is getting pretty big, as seen in the picture. And I'm pretty sure I've had a few Braxton-Hicks contractions. According to babycenter.com B is about 4lbs. She is almost the length she will be when she is born, but from now until then, she's going to be packin' on the pounds...about half a pound a week. Sheesh.

The Whole 9 Yards

This post is brought to you by the number 9.

**The 9 of diamonds-the playing card-is called the Curse of Scotland

**The expression "to the nines" means to the highest degree. Someone dressed to the nines is dressed up as much as they can be.

**9 judges sit on the U.S. Supreme Court

**A human pregnancy normally lasts 9 months

**Important Buddhist rituals involve 9 monks

**There used to be 9 planets in the solar system.

**In astrology, the ninth sign of the Zodiac is Sagittarius, identified by the Greeks as a Centaur. Centaurs are magical creatures known for their skills as archers, philosophers, and predictors of the future.

**In classical music the curse of the ninth refers to the superstition that a composer who writes a ninth symphony will die soon. Beethoven, who left his Tenth symphony unfinished, is regarded by the superstition as the first victim of the curse.

**There are 9 members of the Fellowship of the Ring in the Lord of the Rings saga.

**9 is the number of weeks until Baby gets here! Hopefully...

Baby Class

Baby class is a lot of fun. Wilson and I go to baby class every Thursday in October from 7pm to 9:30pm. It's very long, yes, but the instructor is a hoot and makes it very enjoyable.

One thing that I have noticed is that I am very lucky to be having such an easy pregnancy. There are six or seven other couples in the class and all of the pregnant women sit there, with their feet propped up on chairs, staring blankly at the instructor, or the videos we watch. I know they are all very excited for their babies, but they just look so...unhappy. Back pains, swollen feet, heartburn, babies kicking them in the ribs, etc. You name it, someone has got it. I feel kind of weird because I'm sitting there, smiling and laughing at all the instructor's jokes and following along in the baby book that we got and getting up and down all by myself when we sit on the floor to learn breathing techniques. All of the other women need help getting up and down. All of these women are just as far along as I am, and one woman's baby is due on December 22nd, just like mine! Basically, I'm so grateful that my little B is just cool as a cucumber and not making me feel awful. I just hope that B is as easy when she comes out of the oven as she is while she's in the oven.

Today in class, the instructor said the phrase "poopy diaper baby" and I CRACKED up. I have no idea why it was so funny, but I can't help but giggle to myself just thinking about it.

Poopy Diaper Baby!

Anyways, in response to my cracking up, the instructor said "this is the funnest Lamaze class you will ever take!" Wilson then turns to me and whispers "this is Lamaze?! I just thought it was baby class! We are in a Lamaze class?? What are we, hippies??"

teehee.

Next Thursday we are taking a tour of Labor and Delivery and also of the nursery. I am SOO excited. I can't wait to see all the little bitty babies and ooh and aww over them. I'm probably more excited about seeing those babies than I am to snack on the M&M's I bought earlier today. I'm also pretty excited about thinking of what my first words to my little B will be. Assuming that I will be able to say anything and not just sit there and sob tears of joy, I hope that B will recognize my voice and be comforted by it.

Oh, B.

Sunny days, sweepin' the clouds away...

10

This post is brought to you by the number 10.

**10 is our most important number because it is the base of our counting system.

**Lobsters and crustaceans have 10 legs

**Our counting system is based on 10 because we have 10 fingers

**The first four numbers added together make 10.

**The first 10 amendments to the U.S. Constitution are known as the Bill of Rights

**Thomas Edison set up his first laboratory in his father's basement when he was 10 years old.

**Human hearing reaches its peak at 10 years old

**10 pennies make a dime and 10 dimes make a dollar.

**Does the number ten start with the letter "T" or the number 1?

**10 is the number of weeks left until Baby gets here...hopefully.

The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things...

Another doctor's appointment came and went. 29 weeks, it is. Next week begins the countdown:

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1

*ding*

Baby!

I was told by my doctor that anyone and everyone who plans on spending time with B must get the whooping cough shot. Whooping cough shot? Yes, a whooping cough shot. Grandparents and great grandparents especially. No one who whoops shall be permitted within close range of the sweet and precious babe. Consider yourself warned.

I had to drink the most awful, disgusting drink in order to take that glucose screening test. I was given the choice of orange or fruit punch flavor. I chose fruit punch. The only way I can describe it is to compare it to drinking the syrup of a melted popsicle. Except magnified in sweetness times 10. And it's not as if you can just slowly sip it and take your time trying to stomach it. The doctor gave instructions that the whole 50 oz. should be finished within a couple of minutes. So there I was, gulping it down, trying not to gag, and of course complaining about how bad it tasted. Wilson apparently didn't believe me and asked to take a sip, because, ya know, how bad could it be? It's just fruit punch juice and he is such a manly man. So I let him have a swig.

He didn't say another word afterwards and let me complain all I wanted.

School has been hellish but I must say that I am doing quite well. I gave the most awesome presentation in class today. My curriculum partner and I presented a draft of our elementary school curriculum which required 36 lesson plan outlines. We did amazing and went above and beyond everyone else. My professor, who is known to be a harsh critique, said that we deserve an applause.

Thank you, thank you very much.

(8 more weeks of school, 8 more weeks of school, 8 more weeks of school)

Apples, Belly buttons, and Egyptian theatre

This week has been an interesting one.

Just when I thought pregnancy couldn't get any more weird, my belly button popped out. Yes, my very intense innie has turned into an outie. Weeeird. Pre-pregnancy, my belly button was almost an inch deep. It is very interesting to see the bottom of your belly button suddenly poking out.

Wilson and I also became Apple users this week. I got a 13" Macbook Pro and Wilson got an iTouch. It's taking me a little while to get used to using Mac, but it's pretty sweet. I got a Macbook because I *have to* have one to be a teacher. My faculty advisor says that all the best teaching software is only made for Macs, so we were required to buy one. I think she just enjoys watching all of her students have a minor heart attack when we have to drop that much dough on a computer. I seriously had to sit down for a moment after I purchased mine.

It's weird when strangers come up to me and rub my belly. Just sayin'.

I had the weirdest, most awkward thing happen to me in one of my classes. I'm taking a Theatre History before the 18th Century class. It's a freshman class mostly and I'm in it because I loathe theatre history and waited until the last minute to take it. So, we're talking this week about Egyptian theatre. First, let me say that Egyptian theatre is very strange and unlike any other kind of theatre that exists in the world. Anyways, so we were assigned to read this essay about Egyptian theatre. It's mostly about certain rituals that take place, different gods that are continually mentioned in all Egyptian theatre pre-1800's, the type of music and dance that takes place, etc, etc. So my professor (who isn't really a professor, just a grad student) puts the whole class into groups and we're to pick a paragraph from the reading and put together a short skit or tableaux that represents this paragraph.

So I get put into this group that consists of 3 other girls and 1 boy. I have known this boy since high school and he is very odd. He offers up the idea of presenting a tableaux that represents the following paragraph:

"Music was an art form that touched all people. It was a sacred art in the temples, performed by royalty and gods and goddesses. There are papyri showing priestess-musicians; both royal and aristocratic ladies played instruments in the great religious ceremonies. Music was said to delight the gods, cheer men's hearts, soothe women in childbirth, and drive away evil."

Oh boy. If you think you know which person I was supposed to represent in our tableaux from the above paragraph, you are wrong. The boy in my group suggests that HE be the person representing the woman being soothed by music during childbirth. The other people in my group all think this is a great idea because it shows that women weren't really allowed onstage in Egyptian theatre and so men portrayed women, so it would be "interesting" to see the role reversal by him portraying a woman.

So, they put me in the middle to represent music, and everyone else in my group is in a tableaux around me acting out the various other things mentioned in our paragraph. We were only given 5 minutes to set this up so we really had to throw it together.

It's time to present our tableaux's. Our group gets called on to perform. So, I take my place in a chair in the center and everyone else is around me. The boy in my group lays down on the floor, legs spread wide apart in childbirth position and begins to make "pushing out a baby" sounds. Very loud sounds. So loud that you'd think we were all in a room full of women giving birth.

I. am. mortified.

I watched as the 45+ college kids in the room gasped and widened their eyes. Oh, I bet it was a sight to behold. Then came the laughter.

I'd like to think that they were laughing at what a FOOL he was making of himself and not at the irony of it all. Luckily, class ended right after our group performed so I was able to get out of there a.s.a.p.

I came home that day and told Wilson about all of this and he assured me that everyone thinks I am such a cute pregnant woman and that everyone loves me. He did his best to calm my worries and turn my frown upside-down.

But sometimes, days are just hard.

And very, very weird.

Groovy, baby.

I love Friday nights.

Wilson and I went to Central Market tonight and listened to this really sweet live jazz band. Everyone was sipping coffee which smelled incredibly delicious and it was raining just a little bit so it wasn't hot and made your skin feel nice and soft. But it wasn't humid. Just a nice light, crisp sprinkle. The sights, smells, and noises were some of the best. It was the best Friday night ever.

B is doing just fine. She is growing real big and, consequently, so is my tummy. It's kind of frustrating to walk into my closet and not have anything to wear. But I know it's because I have a little human inside of me. And I love her.

School is just as annoying as ever. My days go by pretty slow and my nights go by too fast. Lame.

What I'm looking forward to the most (besides my little B) is Autumn. This topic has been the subject of many blogs lately but I just love Autumn so much that I can't help but blog about it myself. I love October, November, and December more than any other months. I love the sights and smells and noises. I love those scents that are associated with this time of year. Pumpkin spice, most of all. Oh, how I love pumpkin spice. And I LOVE Halloween. Halloween is probably my favorite holiday. I am going to be a basketball for Halloween. Or maybe a watermelon.


Or maybe the planet Earth.

Back To School Jiggity Jig

As much as I would have liked the summer to keep on going, alas, the time for school came. It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And I puzzled and puzzled till my puzzler was sore.

Boy, my puzzler was very sore by the end of the school day. On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I have 4 classes back to back from 9am to 3pm. It's pretty rough. Especially when a certain little someone is making me very hungry. I packed snacks to eat during class (which is allowed). I packed a sandwich bag of whole grain goldfish, some baby carrots and ranch dressing, and some Disney Princess Ariel fruit snacks. Wilson thinks that I have the taste buds of a 5 year old. This may be true, but I can't help it. I am what I am and that's all that I am.

It looks like this semester of classes is going to be particularly difficult. My professors have assured me that it's largely about time management and thinking logistically about how and when I will get assignments done and it's not really about how easy or difficult the assignments are. I have all the tools/skills I need to complete my projects and succeed.

Easy for them to say.

B got a lot of attention today. Not that she doesn't get loads of attention from me or Wilson talking or singing to her and patting my little belly. But today everyone was rubbing my tummy and asking about B and how she is growing (very big!), can I feel her kicking (oh, yes!), have I thought of any names (of course!) and so on and so forth. It was exciting to talk about my baby all day! I think I talked about my baby more than I actually talked about school and assignments. I have promised many people that I will bring my ultrasound pictures to school and show everyone how pretty she is.

Now I am at home relaxing after a very eventful day. Peace and quiet. I love my new home because it feels so...home-y. Wilson doesn't get home from school for another couple of hours so I will eat a strawberry jello cup and take a nap. Wilson says that tonight when he gets home we are going to go get a bite to eat and bond. He thinks it's no fair that B and I get to be buddies all day, everyday and bond all the time. He would like to do some bonding, too.


How sweet!

Sugar and Spice

Oh, the wonderfulness that is today.

I am having a girl.

And she is very beautiful.

After class today, I met my mom, cheli, nana, calysta, and jake at McDonalds for some lunch and then we headed over to the hospital for my appointment. Wilson met us there. It was cramped quarters in the ultrasound room!

The nurse took a whole bunch of measurments and at last spotted the little girl parts.

Oh, she is very sweet.

After the appointment we went to dinner and then shopping and got our fill on little girl clothes.

I got lots of ultrasound pictures of her and will post them as soon as I can get a hold of a scanner.


peace. love. baby girls.

Half...Baked

Hellooo, 20 weeks!

I am half way done being pregnant. The bun in the oven is mostly still doughy but is growing and rising.

It's rather odd because it feels like time has flown by. I'm scared to blink because I know that when I do, I will be in that labor and delivery room. It's a little frightening.

This week, B is about the length of a banana. A banana! I love bananas! But only when they are mostly still green. I refuse to eat a banana that has too many brown spots.

Countdown- 7 days until my next doctor's appointment. Oh yes. It's the one.

The child development class I am taking this summer is turning out to be one of the most beneficial classes I have ever taken. There are two other pregnant girls in my class and we sit together and share snacks and gaze haughtily down our noses at the other college kids in the class who could not possibly be getting better grades than we are because, hello...we are experiencing this class directly, in our womb's. Child. Development. The only weird thing is that the other two girls are WAY more pregnant than I. They look as if they might pop at any moment, whereas I just look like I ate a little too much for lunch and must unbutton the top button of my jeans to breathe correctly.

Speaking of which, clothes are incredibly uncomfortable these days. I'm not yet big enough to wear my maternity clothes but I am also too big to wear my normal, regular clothes. I am looking forward to being a cautionary whale. Then, at least, I will have something to wear.

Oh, btw, Wilson and I have moved into our new apartment. 2 bedroom, 1 bath. It is wonderful! We no longer have to hunt and scavage and hoard quarters in order to do laundry because we have our very own washer and dryer in our apartment! We also have some pretty snazzy tile and brand new carpet. Right now, B's room is sort of the dumping ground for all of the boxes and miscellaneous things we don't know what to do with or dont have room for. Wilson has promised that by the time there is a baby here, all the junk from that room will be gone.

Let's hope so.

"We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for this Breaking News..."

Life has been detected on a tiny, far off planet.

This Life seems to be kicking about inside its cramped quarters.

Kick, kick, kick

Although there has been previous confirmation that Life is indeed nestled away safely on this planet, today marks the day when it has made its presence known by its persistent and rather remarkable kicking, felt by an outside observer.

Stay tuned as we continue to further investigate this kicking and soon distinguish the sex of this Life.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

whooshwhooshwhoosh

I had another doctor's appointment today. Just a checkup. Mom and Jake came up and stayed with me yesterday and today and went to my appointment. B is developing nicely and we heard the heartbeat.


whooshwhooshwhooshwhoosh is what it sounded like to me.

My next appointment is Tuesday, August 11th at 3:30pm. This is the day we've all been waiting for (aside from the actual birth). This is the day when we will find out if B is a girl or a boy. Woot! My mom is coming and Nana is coming and Cheli is coming and also maybe Calysta. And Wilson, of course. If anyone else would like to come, you're more than welcome...I have requested the big 3D IMAX room for the ultrasound. Should be quite a show. With quite an audience.

I have thought of new names! Well, I'm still sticking to Kyle or Sophie for a girl but I've been going back and forth with the boys names. So, added to the list is: Maddox, Dean, and Oliver. I can't seem to pick a name that a lot of people like, however. My mother hates Maddox because apparently Angelina Jolie named her kid that. A couple of other people don't like Dean because with a name like Dean Addison, he is surely going to be winning "Artist of the Year" at the CMT awards. And clearly, Oliver sounds like something you would name a pet. An orange tabby, for example. Sheesh. I know that there's no pleasing everyone and I should just pick a name that I like (and one that Wilson likes, too, I suppose) but it's difficult.

I've started having wilson take a picture of my belly each week. To spare your eyes, I'm not going to post them on my blog, but just know that so far, there isn't a lot of change between the last few weeks. 15 weeks looks like 16 weeks looks like 17 weeks. Meh.

Is a turnip a fruit? No, I know it's not. But throughout my pregnancy, babycenter.com has been likening the height and weight of B to different fruits. Lemons, avacados, figs. But all of the sudden, this week B weighs as much as a turnip. What gives?

This post is not very exciting but I felt bad because I haven't updated in awhile. BUT the next post will be oh-so-exciting.

On my next post, on August 11th, I will post a picture of either a big ol penis or a squeaky pink vagina. Won't that be exciting?!?




teehee.

Lemons

Boy, it is hot.

Not only was it 105 degrees in Austin today, the air conditioning has been broken in my apartment for two days now. So I've been sitting around in my bathing suit, in front of a fan all day. The fan doesn't really help. It mostly just blows around hot air. Ick.

In other news, my bloodwork came back from the lab and my baby tested negative for Downs Syndrome and Trisomy 18. Hooray for baby! Ouch for me because I have a huge blue and black bruise from where they took 5 viles of blood from my arm to do the tests.

It was an interesting time at the doctor visit last week. I went in for a sonogram because they had to measure the fluid behind the baby's neck, the bridge of the baby's nose and also how long baby is from head to butt. All of this measuring is to find out if the baby is growing properly, etc, etc. Well, in order to take all of these measurements the baby has to be in a certain position. If the baby is not in the ideal position for the measurements, the nurse just jostles my tummy around and the baby will turn over pretty quick. Pretty routine. In-and-out procedure.

Oh, no, no. Not for my baby.

My baby REFUSES to turn over. Instead she just sucks her thumb and looks at us. The nurse keeps jostling my tummy (Wilson and I ate lunch before we got to the doctor so her pushing down on my stomach REALLY made me have to go pee). Baby won't budge. Nurse pushes down some more. Baby waves at us. *sigh*

This goes on for about 30 minutes. The whole time the nurse is TALKING to my baby, trying to coax it into position. And not just talking...she's using this high pitched, I'm-talking-to-a-baby, goo goo gaa gaa, kind of voice. It's driving me nuts.

Finally I tell the nurse that I don't think my baby is going cooperate today and that we'll come back tomorrow and try again.

Sheesh.

When I got home, you better believe that I gave that little lovely, lemon-sized baby of mine a good talking to. She may come from two nonconformist, uncooperative parents, but I'll be darned if she doesn't do what she's told tomorrow at the doctor's.

So I went back the next day and baby did everything perfectly, and without any back-talking or sass.



I hope that this was not a sign of what is to come.

Honeys

Here is a picture of Wilson and I, in case some of you have never seen him. I actually don't think anyone has met him except for my parents and Cheli. But that will change soon, I imagine.

We are going to the doctor tomorrow to get all my blood work done. Fun stuff.

Hello!

Oh my goodness.

Today my mom came to Austin to go with me to my first doctor's appointment. I thought I was just going to get to hear the heartbeat...but I got to see the baby!

eep!

My doctor, Dr. Gooch (lolz), did an internal ultrasound and the first thing I saw on the screen was this little thing movin' around. And oh my goodness. It was doing flips and somersaults and kicks and jumps all over the place. It wouldn't hardly hold still to get measured!

I think my baby will be a gymnast or a swimmer when it grows up.

I got pictures and they are adorable. I got them to print out three...one for me, one for Wilson, and one for my mom. I don't have a scanner, so my mom is going to scan the picture and put it online so everyone can see. It's so cute! Sheesh. My mom and I went to Target afterwards and got two picture frames. One for Wilson and one for me.

The baby is 5.64 centimeters long and is due on December 22nd.

And I also got lots of goodies at the doctor's office. Books and binky's and formula and tons of other stuff. I also got lots of goodies when I went to register for baby stuff at Babies R Us and Target.



I like baby things. They smell good.

Oh, baby

For those of you who read my mothers blog, you may have been perplexed by one of her posts a few weeks ago about a certain secret named "buttercup." The secret is not hers, but mine.

But it's not a secret anymore.

I'm going to have a baby!




[I'll give you a moment to take that in.]



Yes, while unplanned and unexpected, I am going to have a little bitty bundle. I am very excited and looking forward to it. Wilson, who I have dated for 3 1/2 years, is the papa and is also very excited (and a little bit scared).

I'm 10 weeks pregnant so the baby will be here at the end of December. How's that for a Christmas present?? I'm going to stay and finish school because I only have two semesters left and I really want my degree.

I'm currently taking suggestions for names. I won't find out for 8 or 9 weeks if it's a girl or boy...but I just have a feeling it's a girl.

Right now, the baby is the size of a kumquat. Last week, she was a grape. I wonder what fruit she will be next week...


Anyways, that's my exciting news! I am really happy and daddy is really happy and we're going to make sure our baby has everything she needs.


She. Everyone, think "girl" thoughts.

OAP's

This weekend and next week I am helping out at the UIL One Act Play contest. It's the biggest theatre competition in the nation or something. It involves high school's performing one act play's and competing against other high schools. It's a Texas thing. No other states compete.

They hold the state championships in Austin, Tx. And here I am.

Yesterday I was just doing my thing: ushering people to their seats and taking tickets and passing out programs. Minding my own business. And then, all of the sudden, I feel a little tap on my shoulder. I turn around and am shocked and amazed by who is standing there, with a big grin.

My high school theatre teacher.

Let me tell you a little about him..

He was the best teacher ever. He is the reason why I am going to school to be a high school theatre teacher. He inspired me to give it my all and work with what I have. In high school, he balanced being your friend but also the teacher and the authority so well. All of his students knew they could go to him for advice, homework help, boys problems, anything. We had a blast in his class and he gave me a chance to break out from the shy little girl that I had always been.

So, when I turn around and see his standing there, I just can't believe it. I haven't seen him or talked to him since my junior year of high school, when he left us to teach somewhere else. He gave me a huge hug and said he was so glad to see me. I can't hardly sputter out any words. He asks what I'm doing here and I say that I'm just helping out, ushering and whatnot. Right then, the lights dimmer, indicating that a show is about to start. He says it was great to see me and walks back to his seat.

I wanted to tell him that he is the reason I am at UT, studying theatre education, to be a high school theatre teacher and inspire kids like he inspired me. I wanted to see his eyes light up. I wanted to hear him tell me how proud he is of me. Like he used to, back in high school.

But instead I just waved good-bye.

I spent the rest of the night thinking about high school and everything I experienced.

His current students are at the State Championships here in Austin. They perform today in a couple of hours and when I'm watching them perform, I won't help but feel a.) jealous, because when he was MY theatre teacher, we never made it to State Championships b.) hopeful, because I want them to win, so that he will be happy and c.) thrilled, because one day, I know I will be here at State Championships with my group of high school students.

One day.

Denoument

This week is the final week of classes!

Today I had my last creative drama class, my last directing class, and my last fieldwork teaching assignment (I was placed in a second grade classroom and had to teach 5 lessons).

I really learned a lot about myself this semester, not only as a teaching artist but also a person. So many things became clear to me and I gained a lot of perspective.

What I learned:

1.) 2nd graders are the most thoughtful and precious kids ever. After my final lesson today, the class presented me with thank you cards that they had made. One of them says: " Dear Karie- Your the Best teacher ever I wish you could stay for two mor weeks because if you leave I will miss you so much." Aww, bless their little hearts.

2.) Although I do enjoy teaching, I like directing better. I have become more aware of the fact that I have a good intuition and sense about things and it is more helpful in directing than in teaching. In directing, I can build an awesome set and create fantastic pictures and work the moments in a script but, if asked, I couldn't really tell you why I created those things or my reasoning behind it. I couldn't verbally explain it to you. You may think that this might be a flaw, but I think it's just good intuition. True, I haven't developed all the flowery language that professional directors use but I think directing just comes to me. In teaching, if you don't have that reasoning behind what you're doing, your lessons might not work out.

3.) Everything is going to be just fine. No worries.

4.) People are fascinating, yet so simple. This semester I was continually amazed by some peoples choices, decisions, and resolves. Including my own. I have been left to wonder about peoples motivations and how high the stakes are. And sometimes, people just do what they gotta do.

5.) True friends are hard to come by.

This semester has been spent reflecting a lot. Mostly because in every one of my classes I have had to write reflection paper after reflection paper where I am supposed to ponder and think about my work thus far in my college education. I think taking a critical look back on your work and your accomplishments is a vital part of growth and discovery and in order to have that shift in understanding of yourself, others, and the world around you, reflection is key.

I'm totally ready for summer! I just want to sit by the pool and think back to simpler times when my biggest decision involved what I was going to eat for lunch. I will also hopefully get a sparkling, dazzling tan. I want to look fabulous for my last year of college (which is why I purchased Carmen Electra's Home Workout DVD) and be in a peaceful mental state for when I take on those 21 hours in the fall.


Oiy!

I'm at the precipice.

I suppose I should write a new post. It's been awhile.

In my directing class, I'm directing a scene called Precipice. It's about a boy and a girl hiking on a mountain. It is getting to be the end of the day and a storm is on its way. They need to hurry down the mountain because storms on this mountain are deadly. They come to a precipice and need to jump across to the other side in order to proceed down the rest of the mountain. When they were hiking up the mountain earlier that day, they jumped across a precipice and the girl is convinced that this is the same precipice that they jumped across that morning. The boy is not convinced. It's a simple jump; only a couple of feet. The problem is that the storm has brought with it some terrible fog, therefore the boy and the girl can't see across the precipice. They can't see where to jump.

The girl has faith. She has been hiking on this trail all of her life and "knows in her heart" that she can jump across and be fine. Plus, she's willing to jump because after all, there is a terrible storm on the way and doesn't want to get caught in it.

The boy needs proof. He repeatedly asks her for proof that they can jump across and that this is the same precipice. He asks her how she knows that the other side is really only a couple of feet away. She says she "just knows." She then throws a rock to the other side and it hits stone, thus proving that the other side is there and it's not very far away. She then gets ready to jump across.

He: Unbelievable.
She: What?
He: You're really going to run and leap into the fog not knowing what's over there?
She: I know what's over there.
He: You don't know. You believe. You hope. You wish. You pray. You don't know the difference between what you know and what you hope.
She: You heard the stone land on that ledge.
He: Stone hit stone. Period. That's a typical you-ism. You hope a ledge is there, therefore a ledge's over there. No! There's rock over there. It may be flat. Or it may be round. It may be vertical. It may be horizontal. It's not a fact because you said it. It's only a fact when I can see it.

At the end of the scene, the girl decides that it is too much risk to try to jump where she can't see and that it may not be the same precipice they jumped over that morning. They decide to build a fire and take refuge in a fallen tree.

Before I began working on this scene with my actors, it was important for us to decide if this was really the precipice they jumped over that morning. We had to decide if the girl was right or if the boy was right.

We decided that the boy was right.

There is a popular TV series called Lost that my roommates LOVE. They watch it every Wednesday. I don't watch it so I'm not entirely sure what the plot is or the characters involved. But, a number of times, I've heard it said that Lost is about "men of science" and "men of faith." I've totally taken that theme and applied it to my directing scene, because, well, that's what it's about.

I think it's interesting that I decided to choose for the boy to be right.

I can't jump where I can't see.

Are you the boy or the girl?

The Hills Are Alive! ...with the sound of crying babies, Barney the Dinosaur, Tonka trucks, and "stop hitting your brother!"

Hello.

Today is Saturday but I think I left my brain back in Thursday.

Let me explain.

I work in the Kids Club at 24hour fitness. I'm the Supervisor actually, which has me making the schedule, interviewing and hiring new staff, cleaning, buying supplies, and much more. I also happen to be really good with kids, or at least, I can tolerate them better than some of the other kids club attendants. The Kids Club is a place in the gym where parents can drop off the kids to be watched (by me or the four other girls that work there) for up to two hours while they go work out. In the Kids Club, we have movies galore, a huge jungle gym, 2 X-boxes, coloring books and crayons, and toys toys toys. Fun stuff, eh?

Well, sometimes moms ask me to babysit their kids on a Friday or Saturday night. Date night. Which is fine with me because that's some quick, easy cash.

I have gotten really close to a couple of families that come to the gym and so I babysit their kids a lot. So, one day Mrs. Flight Attendant mother asks me if I would be willing to watch her two boys, Big Brother C (age 3) and Little Brother G (age 1) from Thursday to Sunday. Mrs. Flight Attendant explains that she has to be at work all weekend and that Mr. Flight Attendant is also going to be on a business trip. So she needs someone who would be willing to spend all night and day with her children. Cooking, cleaning, running errands, taking the boys to the playground, grocery shopping, etc. So I say "Of course I will!" (for a nice $300)

Boy. Little did I know.

Thursday finally comes and I head over to their house at 9am. It is now 1pm on Saturday and I'm not sure how I have made it this far. I had no idea that taking care of children would be this overwhelming. Don't get me wrong, Big Brother C and Little Brother G are quite possibly the best kids ever. As far as children go, they are well-behaved and follow directions without me having to fuss at them too much.

But kids are difficult.

They eat a lot. And they poop a lot. And they cry a lot.

Mom being gone is hard on C and G. This is the first time mom has been back to work since G was born. Everyone is out of their element here. The kids are all freaked out because they think mom is going to be gone forever. I am freaked out because, holy crap! I'm in charge of these little kids! And Mrs. Flight Attendant calls about every 5 hours or so to check on us. I guess it's hard to be away from your babies for so long.

So I'm doing my best to have fun with Big Brother C and Little Brother G. It's nap time right now and later we are going to McDonald's. My motherly instincts have seriously kicked in and I try to love on these little kids as much as possible so they don't get too upset. I have kissed, tickled, laughed, played in the dirt, watched Wow!Wow! Wubzy!, cared for boo boo's, washed and bathed, scrubbed behind ears, wiped down hands and face (hands and face! hands and face!), sang sing-a-longs, picked up toys, picked up toys, picked up toys, and told bedtime stories more in the last three days than I ever have in my life thus far. I have also scared away my fair share of monsters under the bed.



Mothers- I don't know how you do it.

Spring Break!

Spring Break is this week. Woot!

It seems like spring break should be a time when you can relax and gather the bits and pieces of your brain that you have lost since school started in January.

But alas, the list of things that I have to get done before school starts again has grown quite long.

1. LAUNDRY. I know it's time to do laundry when I don't have any more clean underwear. I usually do laundry once a month. It usually takes me about that long to collect $2 in quarters.

2. Find and cast a 10-15 minute play for my Directing class.

3. Eat the loaf of bread I bought last week before it goes bad.

4. Go to the bank. A real hastle since my car is in the shop and buses aren't running this week because it's spring break.

5. Scrub the bathtub! Sheesh, you'd think that hairdye would rinse off by itself after a while.

6. Catch up on homework. Now see, I'm putting this in the list of things I have to get done...but it won't get done. I don't know why I bother. I always do homework the day before it's due. However, I don't think of myself as a procrastinator....I think of myself as someone who works better under pressure.


I think that's enough for now. It's best not to overwhelm oneself with too many things. You have to leave room in your life for the unplanned. That's when I am my best self.


I am also going to Fort Worth on Thursday to visit Jennie and Tom and Alisa and Calysta and possibly Wendy. Hooray! I am so excited to see part of the fam! Being in college is a lot of fun but sometimes it is lonely. Sometimes you just want to be surrounded by people whom you know really care about you.

Thank you, Shakespeare.

School is going well.

I'm about half-way through the semester and I'm getting ready for mid terms and such. And then Spring Break!

Tomorrow is Monday. Monday is my busiest day of the whole week because I have 2 three hour classes and it just about kills me. I have Creative Drama 2 which is basically a class on how to lesson plan and incorporate drama into school. I also have Directing 2. I have two presentations tomorrow, the first being presenting a lesson plan that I created for a second grade math class. See, I'm terrible with math but luckily I seem to have mastered telling time and putting numbers in chronological order, which is part of what you learn in second grade. Safe!

I'm presenting my directing scene which hopefully will go well. We've rehearsed and had many discussions about the characters in the scene. But theatre is completely subjective. So my class and professor may hate it. Who knows.

Last year for my birthday my roommate Kelly got me the Complete Works of Shakespeare. Naturally, it's a huge book. Yesterday, since I didn't have to work, I started reading Twelfth Night. It's proving to be very entertaining. You should read it. One thing that I have learned while reading Shakespeare is that you have to read the sonnet/play many times before you can fully appreciate it. Read it the first time to get a feel for the plot. A second time to understand the language. A third time to look for underlying meanings and messages. I doubt anyone can understand Shakespeare by just reading it once, anyway.

This kind of relates to life, as well. I wish people made many attempts to get to know someone before they judged or made decisions about what someone is or isn't like. The world would be a much happier place.

Act One/Scene Two

Question: Has anyone ever been sitting in a waiting room, or on the bus, or standing in line at the grocery store and felt compelled to talk to the person next to you? Even though this person is a total stranger?

Personally, I feel really awkward talking to a total stranger. But I notice that other people do it all the time.

Let's raise the stakes here.

What if this person in the grocery store or on the bus is someone that you don't know but you see them at this place all the time. Is the fact the you frequent the same place at the same time grounds to strike up a conversation?

Let's raise the stakes even higher. What if your thoughts of or about this person happen when you AREN'T at the grocery store. What if this person slowly ends up in every other thought throughout any particular day. Is that grounds to say hello and introduce yourself the next time you are both buying milk and bread on saturday afternoon?

I am directing a short play in my directing 2 class this semester and this scenario that I have just described is the plot. Except the two characters, Sue and David, sit in the waiting room of their therapists office every Monday night, waiting to go into each of their therapists offices and begin their session. They do not know each other and they have waited in the same waiting room at the same doctor's office every Monday night for the last 18 months. He has noticed her. She has noticed him. Attraction? Well, of course. But not a word has been exchanged.

In the scene, David decides to finally talk to her. But mostly because this is his last therapy session and presumably, they will never see each other again.

The stakes are not high.

I am curious and interested in why people do things or say things when they think they have nothing to lose.



Stay tuned and I will tell you how my directing scene goes.

Act One/Scene One

"This directing thing just sort of fell my way and landed in my lap."
-Charles S. Dutton

When I was in high school, it never entered into my mind that I could be a director. I always thought the only way to do theatre was to act...which is something that I'm terrified of (go figure). I thought that maybe some day I would grow out of being shy. And then I got to college and guess what? I'm still terrified.

It wasn't until I took my first Directing class that I realized that this is what I really enjoy doing. I mean, it makes sense...I don't have to be onstage to create art. In fact, the director is the one who creates the art...the actors are just the tools. So take that!

It really just donned on me one day that I enjoy putting together and telling stories.

When I was younger I used to have to go to the airport and ride the plane back and forth in between my mom's house and father's house. Hours and hours in the airport and on the plane is not the best thing in the world for a kid but I entertained myself by making up stories about the people waiting in the terminal or sitting next to me on the plane. I made up intricate, detailed stories about where these people were coming from and where they were going and what they were going to do when they got there...also, what their clothes and luggage and hairstyle and the way they walked said about their life/lifestyle. A couple of times, when I had time to spare before boarding the plane, I rode the tram several times around the airport by myself just to see how many different types of stories I could create. It was all completely made up but for some reason it felt so real to me.

(I guess I wasn't afraid of being kidnapped)

I still make up these stories whenever I go somewhere where there are a lot of people...grocery stores, at school (there are about 50,000 students and teachers at UT, for goodness sake), libraries, malls, etc. I don't frequent airports anymore so I've had to find alternatives.

It's funny how children spend a lot of their "growing up" years wondering and wondering and hoping and thinking about what they will be when they grow up. A rockstar! An astronaut! (or in my case: A princess!) And then one day, you just know. This epiphany may come at any point in one's life, but inevitably, you just know.

It's what you believe, it's what you're passionate about, it's what you would do even if no one paid you to do it.

Okay, From the Top.

Well, here it is.

My first post.

I started a blog because I want to share bits of my life with others...or maybe I just like to talkS about myself. Meh, either one works.

I'm mostly going to be writing about what I spend a majority of my time doing: directing.
It's what I'm most interested in can talk about for hours on end.
I'm taking a Directing 2 class this semester as well as two classes on theatre and art in education
so my knowledge on this subject is pretty intense.

Directing is essentially knowing a lot about everything and a smart director knows that 90% of directing is casting right. If you have good actors, your job is simple. A director is a jack of all trades and pays attention to detail. No decision is a small decision.

So there it is.

Stay tuned for regular posts.